


Betrayed

by EmrykAlexis



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-29
Updated: 2017-01-27
Packaged: 2018-08-18 12:56:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 36,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8162731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmrykAlexis/pseuds/EmrykAlexis
Summary: What happens when Emma simply can't take her wife's cheating anymore? When a suicide plan goes awry? Can they work past it for the sake of their love? Or, will they be left wanting?





	1. Chapter 1

_Regina,_

_I do not know what to call you anymore. For many minutes I sat, thinking of how to head it. You are not Mayor Swan. You are not my wife. You are my beloved, but you do not love me. Have never loved me. Regina. Simple, direct. It was the most fitting I could find. But then, I am but an idiot. A fact I have always been fine with, especially because I believed I was your idiot._

_Long, hard, excruciating hours, days, and weeks have been spent thinking. Thinking about what I wish to say to you. What I have no choice but to say. At least once. Everyone has said that I am a person of few, if any, words. This is true. As stated, I am an idiot. I leave the talking to you whenever possible._

_Once upon a time I believed I could be your idiot. Let’s leave this statement for later shall we? For now I feel I must warn you that I forsee this being the longest letter, or any document I’ve written period, that I have ever taken the time, or had the gumption, to write._

_Today is the twenty-third of October. My fortieth birthday. Twelve years ago I met the most beautiful, amazing, magnificent, and just extraordinarily majestic being that I have ever, in my years, laid my eyes upon. You. I’d not felt my heartbeat in such a long time, but that moment my eyes landed upon your own glorious orbs i could feel it bang against my ribcage like a jackhammer._

_In that moment it was like some overdone cheesy romantic comedy, the ones I call chick flicks. Girl sees girl for the first time, falls irreversibly, undeniably, in love. Well. It’s the truth. That shit really did happen - at least it did for me. I loved you in that moment, and not once have I ever stopped. Honestly speaking I don’t think I could, and I have tried. I will admit that freely. I have tried, so hard, to stop loving you. I hate feeling like a failure because I simply can’t._

_Everyday I have to force myself out of bed because I can’t. My love for you is final and infinite. As long as my body takes breath I shall continue to love you. With that said I can no longer trust you. Can not sit by your side any longer. My life of pretend must end._

_Just hearing your voice. Just a simple thing as that, it makes me die further inside. Yet. Not hearing it hurts just as much. No matter what I do I shall be forever tortured as long as I live. Because. No matter how I wish to, I can’t stop loving you. It’s just not something I am able to do._

_Do you remember that first night we spent together? Holding you in my arms that very first time. My arms around your waist, your back against me. All that was between our skin was our shirts. I vowed, on that day, I would never hurt you. I vowed I would protect you until my dying breath. As you slept I kissed your shoulder and prayed to higher beings that do not exist that the night would not end. We hadn’t even had sex, hadn’t even been on a date, but I would have been happy dying like that._

_I wish I had._

_When we, finally, began to date I was elated. You were, are, my everything. My happy ending. I had never loved a partner like I have loved you these past years. The very reason why I took the very first forgetting potion. Why I took the second. And the third. Are you getting the picture?_

_Let’s start with the second time. Henry was thirteen, we had finally defeated Zelena. Everything was starting to calm down and we were a mere six days away from our first wedding anniversary. I came home early to try and surprise you, just to show that I still loved you. That now that the drama was over I could focus solely on you again._

_With a thudding heart, a flipping stomach, lead feet, and a throat drier than the sahara I followed the sounds into the living room. Once more praying to a being I do not believe in that I was wrong. However. I sensed that I wasn’t. I could hear your moans, your screams of pleasure. I watched for just three minutes, but it felt like months. As you reached your climax you scratched your nails down Ruby’s back._

_That was the second time you broke my heart, but I did not know that at the time. I couldn’t handle the reality that you were cheating. So, I wished upon stars and internally screamed at the gods of olympus. I convinced myself it was a one time thing. I brewed a forgetting potion, and I drank it. It erased my memories once more, but not the distrust and fear that was in my heart._

_Let’s get into the first. Think back to the third week after we were married. You told me you wanted a child. Not once, not ever, had we discussed more progeny. Henry was nearing twelve, and I had truly believed you did not, could not, want any more. I, being me, got scared. Do you remember? How I nearly fainted as I ran out of the house saying I needed to be at the station? It was because there was a secret I was far too scared to tell you._

_The next day I arrived home. It was your day off, and I had slept the night, and morning, at the station. I had roses, a heavy heart, and was filled to the scalp with fear. I was going to tell you why I didn’t want any more children. Tell you the thing that I was petrified you’d divorce me over. The secret that would keep us from having children, and worse, keep you from ever letting me near our son again. But. I loved you, so I was hoping against everything that my fear was misplaced. I hoped that I would tell you my deepest, darkest, secret and that you would forgive me. That you would understand._

_The bedroom door was closed, and sounds that made me crinkle my brow were escaping through the wood. I assumed that perhaps some work had to be done and Leroy or some other chump was having sex in our bed so I cracked the door open just an inch. I was shocked by what I saw. We were not even married a full month and your face was buried between another woman’s legs. She was laying back on the bed, her face partially covered with a blindfold. But I knew, I knew you were fucking my best friend._

_I raced out of the house. I vomited in your precious bushes and shoved the roses into the garbage can. I raced to the crypt. Not sure what I was going to do, but then I knew. You had spoken of forgetting spells. I convinced myself that it was a one time event. So I brewed it, and I swallowed it. Forgetting the horrible scene._

_After that each time I went to tell you my secret something inside of me would stop me. I would become so overcome with fear, a terror, that I would get physically ill. The guilt of not telling would be just as bad. And because I couldn’t remember the events which initially caused the extra fear and distrust I did not know why I couldn’t ever bring myself to finally tell you._

_For my own sanity I will refrain from going into the details of the other times I have caught you with Ruby. To be exact, it has been seven times. The seventh time was fifteen months ago. I brewed the potion, but it did not work. Not wanting to go to Gold I thought I would win you back. I got rid of everything about me you hated._

_Everything about me that I loved. My jackets, every single one of my ‘disgusting’ leather jackets were thrown out. Well, I did hide the red one, more on that later. The bug, though she did not work, I finally gave her away. My camaro, the one I rebuilt and attempted to get Henry interested in cars with, sold. The Ducati monster you called a two-wheeled death trap I was forced to keep at David’s. He too was sold._

_No longer did I eat bear claws, burgers, or anything you had ever complained about me eating. I had stopped exercising as much years ago, and while I wasn’t fat I wasn’t flat and toned as I had been. So I began to run again. I started using the gym in the basement for at least an hour a day. And still, you slept with her._

_So, realizing I could not win you back, I tried the potion again. Once more it didn’t work. Having no other choice I went to Gold. I told him I needed to forget something that could affect the future. Knowing he wouldn’t ask questions. Even his didn’t work, and I asked why it was that I was immune. This made him very curios, as he told me immunity is extremely rare, and only ever happens to those who have been repeatedly exposed to the potion._

_As you well know the blood of the creator of the potion is needed for the anti-potion or whatever you call it. So we brewed one together using my blood. It is much more difficult than the initial forgetting potion. I am so very thankful that I drank it in private, because what I remembered sent me to my knees. I nearly cried, but I held it in._

_Do you know what it is like to look into a mirror and all you can see is a dead person staring back at you? A corpse? I gripped the sink of the station and I stared at myself. And I realized that no matter what I did I could never win you back. For the simple fact that I had never truly had you. You had never loved me._

_Only two reasons have come to mind when I have thought of why you would agree to date me, let alone marry me. Why you would pretend to love me for so many years. The first was for Henry. Perhaps you were scared you would lose your son should you not date and marry me. Perhaps it was simply an easy way to your revenge on Snow without pissing people off, and after all, I made it oh so easy._

_Not that you have ever believed me but I would have never taken your son from you. For six months I tried to win you back and never once did I use him as a tool. For nine months I have known about every single time I caught you with her. I have understood my fears about speaking my secret aloud, a secret that only I know. A secret that, shortly, I will take to my grave._

_Savior. It’s nothing but a title. A cross to bear. All any of these people have ever wanted from me was to use me. To fix their lives. To blame all their problems upon. To accuse if one little detail did not go to their plan. And I have accepted it and taken every punch because I had you. It came in handy the past nine months_

_For the first two weeks after the anti-potion I was angry. So very, very enraged. I wanted nothing more than to kill Ruby. To tear her limb from limb. In fact I honestly wanted to hurt anyone I could get my greedy malicious hands upon. Thankfully I did not act on these urges. I kept it bottled tightly inside. Then I fell into depression. No one noticed that I stopped eating. Not even you or Granny. She believed I was eating at home, and you thought I was eating there._

_No one noticed that I made sure that I was never at the station when Ruby was. Well that’s not exactly true. Mulan made a few jokes here or there, but I have long since learned to be a good liar. I was given no other choice. These mints you think I am addicted to? That everyone thinks i’m addicted to? Hell, Mulan calls me the tictac King._

_I use them to cover up the drinking. I sit in my car and drink irish coffee from the moment I leave the house to the moment I get back to the house. I rarely eat. Not even the dinners you leave in the microwave. I magic the contents to the outside garbage, alongside the empty bottles I drink before I can bring myself to crawl into the bed that feels more like Ruby’s then it does mine._

_Our last kiss, do you remember it? It happened six months ago, before I left for work. A quick peck, closed mouthed. I don’t mind that it’s been that long. We haven’t touched, not so much as a bump in the kitchen, or the brushing of fingers as you hand me a document at the office in three months. In bed I curl up and hug the side, and you stick to your own._

_Depression. I have survived it. There were many nights I thought of just blowing my brains out with my service weapon. Many times when I had the gun to my temple, or even the taste of the barrel on my tongue. Those times the only thing that stopped me from ending my pitiful existence was that somehow, someway, they’d blame the evil queen. I didn’t want them to hurt you, but I just don’t want to hurt anymore._

_Two months ago I changed. Again. Something shifted. I still feel everything, but at the same time I do not. Like I’m on painkillers and there's a fuzzy line between myself and my emotions. It was like a sort of freedom. It allowed me to covertly and strategically plan my death. Knowing that I had to find a way to do it where no one would ever suspect foul play, one where they could never twist it into me being some sort of victim._

_I wish that nineteen months ago, when Hook returned with that horrid boat and worse stench of his to get his vengeance against me for not loving him, and against Rumple for killing Milah that he had killed me like he had promised he would do. Then I could have never remembered that you not only hate me, but that you love Ruby. That both you and she could hurt me like you have done for all of these years._

_Alas, I can not change the past. The only thing I can do is fix my future._

_Tonight I will give a grand performance. I will lie better than I ever have before. The performance I will give tonight will be worthy of the oscars. I will state that I want a divorce, something that I could not do. Would not do, tonight I will say I have fallen in love with a prostitute that I have been seeing in secret for the past few months. Something I could not, would not do. I could never be intimate with someone who was not you._

_Of course they will believe me, I am the savior. The sheriff. Surely I would never lie about such things. That is what they foolheartedly believe. Right before I start to say these things, before I lie my ass off, I will swallow a powder that I have put into a pill capsule. It will take effect within twenty or thirty minutes. It will stop my heart._

_Which I find funny, because as far as I am concerned my heart no longer beats. I truly feel dead. This life? It has always tortured me. I can no longer bare to live. So I will take my own life, and no one will know the truth. Only two people on these earth will ever know the truth. Myself. And you._

_Death is the gift I have chosen for myself. I ask that you give me one last gift as well. When everyone is gone I wish you to go into the basement. Go into the closet. Duct taped above the door on the inside, where you can not see, is a messenger bag. Do not open the bag, just place it on my stomach. Cross my arms over it. We haven’t discussed our deaths, but I would like to be cremated. Just like that. Got it? Bag on chest, arms crossed over it. Place body in fire. Simple._

_You probably don’t even care about what is written here, but I needed to say it. I needed to write it down. I needed you to know. And I needed you to know what I wanted done with my body. I needed to say goodbye to the only partner, the only woman, I ever truly loved. Heart. Mind. Body. and Soul._

_With death I will finally be released from the love that I have for you._

_Goodbye, my love, and may she bring you the happiness I could never hope to give you_

_E. J. Swan_


	2. Big Forty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to all that have reviewed, and I truly hope that this chapter lives up to your expectations.

During the dinner Emma had simply pushed shit around her plate. Not really wanting to be there, but having no choice. Her eyes watching everyone’s interactions, watching the children, who ranged from the age of two to about twelve in Alexandra’s case, eat and chatter amongst their parents. 

“Alex, Lonnie, there are a bunch of toys and gadgets upstairs in the playroom. Why don’t you wrangle up all the other kids? I am sure you are as bored as I am down here with this boring adults talk” Chuckled the younger wolf.

Underneath the table Emma clenched her fists. Ruby had spoken as if it were her house, as if she owned it. As if she were the one that payed the bills, as if she held claim over everything inside number 108 mifflin drive. Emma had to keep herself from shooting the wolf a glare. She had been planning on sending the children away herself. 

Together Regina and Snow had decided to throw a dinner party for Emma’s big forty. A bunch of people were there. So many so that they had been moved to the much larger dining room. The one with the gigantic, but admittedly magnificent antique thirty seater table. The two women, alongside Granny, had made a delicious and enormous meal. That Emma had taken maybe two full bites of. 

At the head of the table sat Regina. With Emma all the way at the other end. Emma felt that the seating arrangement proved once more how little Regina cared for her. As Ruby was sitting directly on Regina’s left side, and Henry on her right. Children and adults filled every space between the two women. 

 

Generally whenever Regina threw a dinner party at the house, which was often she had become quite the hostess, the children had usually been sent to the kids table but every once in awhile Snow would convince her to use the larger table. It reminded all the royals of the ones they had at the castle. So, for once, they’d filled the seats with the kids. Who Alexandra and Lonnie had rounded up and taken upstairs. Henry had stayed behind, sipping his wine. Always subtly pointing out he was twenty-two. 

“Now is as good as time as any” Emma said after she cleared her throat. She had covertly swallowed the pill while Regina was rolling her eyes at her son. “Perhaps the best time in fact. I would like a divorce, as soon as possible” Her wife choked on her drink. 

All side conversations came to an abrupt halt, many mouths still in the process of forming words that would not come. Slowly all eyes widened and jaws dropped as every single person left at the table turned to stare in shock at their savior and Sheriff. Emma adjusted the tie she was wearing before swallowing. 

 

“Excuse me?” The woman was visibly shaking as she put her wine glass down. Fear pumping through her system that somehow, after all these years, the woman that Regina loved full heartedly had found out about her longstanding side affair with the wolf. Something she had tried to end since before the curse ended but had never fully managed to do. 

“As I stated I, actually, I would not like a divorce. I demand a divorce. Over the past few months I have been paying a woman to meet my physical needs. Along the way I have fallen in love with her. So. I would like to marry her, and to do that I need a divorce. Tonight I will pack my belongings and leave. I want nothing, I will cross the barrier and I will mail back the papers as needed” Emma’s face betrayed no emotion. 

 

No one moved, no one so much as breathed. Wind did not pass over the house, and the air did not move. Flies did not buzz. It was as if time itself had stopped as everyone stared at Emma who stared forward, an unreadable expression painted on her. A mask that none could see through. 

“You. You fucking worthless whore” Roared Ruby as she jumped to her feet. This was not on Emma’s plan. This was not how she saw things going. Ruby slammed her fist into the table like a gavel. “You cheated on someone like Regina? What gave you the fucking right you horrible bitch!”

Before Emma could so much as blink, let alone process the wolf’s words the woman had her hands around her collar, lifting her from her chair. Which fell against the floor with a loud thwack. Ruby was screaming at her and shaking her, her feet dangling slightly from the floor. Emma blinked. 

Without thinking something inside of Emma just shattered. She pulled back her arm and formed the perfect fist and slammed it right into Ruby’s temple. The force caused the darker haired woman to stumble backwards and fall into the table. Emma on top of her. 

Quickly Emma had jumped to her feet, but hadn’t managed to regain her balance before Ruby had her hands back around her shirt collar and had her slammed against the wall. Knocking the air of her lungs. It was clear as day that Ruby was beyond livid. 

“How could you do this?” Demanded Henry angrily. Knocking over his own chair as he stood up and placed his hands against the table. “How could you do such a thing to my mom? Cheaters are as bad as murderers!” At this comment David slumped in his chair, ashamed. 

Of course his wife, Snow, rubbed his arm lovingly nodding at him. Like it was okay that he had cheated on Kathryn when they had been married. Even though it hadn’t been, David was rightly ashamed but he was of course always deluding himself that it had been okay. And right now as he watched what was going on the delusion had broken. 

“Ruby’s right!” David was pulled from his thoughts on his delusions by his grandsons voice. “You are a dirty filthy whore! You are a bitch and I wish I had never found you! You were supposed to be the good guy, and you’re not. You are the Evil One!” Emma grinned at his words. 

Her smile had spread just a millisecond before Ruby’s fist landed against her jaw. Emma brought up her knee into the woman’s abdomen and then they were on the floor. Punching each other, kicking, scratching, and even biting. Ruby had gotten a nice bite right into Emma’s leg. Something that had Granny pissed off, it was around wolves time and magical beings could become wolves by getting the bite of a true born wolf. It was a fifty fifty shot, and even then it could take years to manifest.

Both women were fully intent on killing the other. Then suddenly the people were no longer frozen, they dove into action. Mulan and Frederick were pulling a snarling Ruby off of Emma, while David and Eric were holding Emma back as Tink and Rumple put up a barrier so that they couldn’t get at each other any longer. 

“I don’t care how long it takes. I will destroy you, slut” Ruby growled as she ripped herself out of Mulan’s arms. Both women were free, but there was no way to cross the line. They could not attack each other. “You’ll beg me for release before I’m done”

Laughing maniacally Emma pressed her hands against the barrier. Ruby bared her teeth. Blood dripped down Emma’s lip, and from the cut above her eyebrow. Ruby wiped the blood from her own mouth. Both were pretty beat up already. Ruby was ninety percent sure her wrist was broken, but that wouldn’t stop her from attacking given the chance. Never before had she been so angry. 

“Aunt Regina, Aunt Regina!” Lonnie shouted as she raced down the stairs, each step sounding like thunder. Aurora and Mulan both faced their daughter with apprehension, not wanting the nine year old anywhere near this situation. “Fox was playing with this and I think you need to read it right now!” She shoved the letter in Regina’s hand. 

Mulan quickly sent her daughter back up the stairs as Regina looked at her name at the top of the letter then at her wife. A confused expression on her face, she knew Emma’s handwriting anywhere. Emma finally noticed what she was holding and as Regina looked back at the letter anger flooded her body. 

“NO. NOT YET” Roared Emma as she beat down on the barrier. Anger apparent on her face. The barrier actually looked like it was going to crack. “it’s too late! it’s too late. None of you can do anything” Was screamed out as she finally gave up fighting the barrier. 

No. Tonight had not gone to plan. Emma had assumed that they’d send the kids upstairs. Everyone would yell at her a little bit, but Regina would accept everything. Then she’d have her ‘heart attack’. That it would be done and over with. That was not to be, and now as Regina glanced up from the letter with a sob Emma knew she knew. 

Everything was going on. But with the letter in hand. Regina could only feel three emotions. Self-hatred, guilt, and fear she could not save the person she loved most in the world. Hatred because she was too weak, to afraid to break things off with Ruby. Guilty that she could do such a thing to cause her wife, her partner, her everything to reach this point. Fear. So much fear pumping inside of her. 

“Hold her down!” Regina demanded, pulling herself together rather than fall to the floor and cry like she wanted to. “Lower the barrier immediately, we need to get this down her throat now” A glass appeared in her hand. “It’s water and salt, it will induce vomiting.” Everyone did as they were told and soon Emma was being held down. 

As the stronger of the people launched themselves at Emma, as they fought and more blood was spilled. As they were all forcing her to the ground and trying to save her, without even knowing what really was going on. All they knew was tonight sucked balls. While all that was going down Belle had the good sense to dial the hospital. 

It took five people to hold Emma down. Mulan was holding her head steady, while Frederick and Eric were flat on their stomachs doing there best to keep her arms down, while David was over her legs. Ruby was straddling her stomach. Grinning evilly at her as she wrenched her jaw open. 

Before Emma could bite the offending fingers, Ruby’s to be exact, Regina had dumped the liquid down her throat. Ruby had snapped her mouth shut firmly, and Regina held her nose. Emma glared up at the wolf as she did her best not to swallow. She didn’t want to, she wanted to hold her breath forever. 

Even though she didn’t want to, even though she was fighting as hard as she could her body made her swallow the liquid sludge that was the salt concoction. She got in four breaths of air before another giant mouthful was being shoved down her throat. Almost immediately after she swallowed that time around she was puking her guts out. 

The tiny contents of her stomach spilling out onto the floor, they had twisted her to her side in time. They shoved her back on her back after she was done heaving, and Regina wiped her mouth before administering more of the liquid. Once more she vomited. And then they stared at her as she breathed heavily. Still being held down. 

“It doesn’t matter” She croaked out. “All it needed was two minutes. The capsule was already dissolved. All this was for nothing. Too late. I told you. Too la-” Was all she managed to get out before her whole body shook and her eyes fluttered shut, and then her body finally relaxed. 

Just as Regina began to panic, checking for a pulse, Whale came racing in with the only two paramedics in town. They knocked everyone out of their way. They ripped open her shirt and placed paddles to her chest. Everyone was silent as they watched them work. The first jolt did nothing. The second jolt had Regina silently crying as she held her wife’s head. The third jolt got them a slow pulse. 

 

“Get her into the bus, we need to hurry.” Whale shouted at the shorter man. He nodded and helped Whale get onto a big board, and just as they were finishing that up the taller guy rushed back in with the stretcher. “What did she take?” He demanded. 

 

“I don’t know” Regina admitted. “I don’t know” She wiped at her eyes. “Just save her, please. You have to save her.” She was begging. He nodded and helped hoist the board onto the stretcher. “Save her, don’t let her die” 

There were very few people Whale liked. Emma just happened to be one of them. He was already a brilliant doctor, even if he was a little bit mad, Regina knew that if anyone could save her medically at least it was Whale. She sobbed as she watched the three man team roll the stretcher away.


	3. Chapter 3

“It. It.” Slowly Henry looked up from the letter. His face pale. “It was you” He finally murmured, the letter gripped firmly in his hands. His mother had carelessly dropped it to the floor. “You, you never loved her. You. Ruby. It’s. It’s all of your fault. She’s going to die because of what you both have done.” He stared deep into Regina’s eyes.    
  
All she could see in her son, the boy she had raised alone for ten years. The man he had become. Only one emotion rang from him. Hatred. Pure hatred. It sliced into Regina like a katana, quick and without warning. She had taken too many emotional blows today. And she feared there would be many more to come.    
  
Worse was, she knew, deep within her soul, that everything that was happening was her own fault. She had been weak, afraid, and she had done what all others had done to Emma. Made her invisible, not seen the truth. Not seen her pain, a pain that had led them to this very day.   
  
“What?” Demanded a very annoyed, and irate Granny. “What on earth are you talking about?” She swiftly stole the letter that Henry shoved in her direction. The room was silent as the old woman read the letter. “I have never been so disappointed in my own kin before today”   
  
Ruby turned to face her sharply, disbelief on her face. She didn’t know what exactly was in the letter, but she was sure that it had something to do with that fact that she had been fucking Regina behind her best friends back. She opened her mouth to speak but Granny raised a finger and pointed it at her.    
  
“Both women I raised turned out to be despicable beasts” The younger Lucas opened her mouth to defend herself but was cut off. “For neither you or Anita have any claim on the title of human, neither of you should have ever had the honor of being born wolves!” Ruby flinched. She didn’t feel bad, she felt that Regina was rightfully hers. That they were meant to be. That Regina belonged to her.   
  
Without warning the five foot four inch twenty-two year old stormed away. His feet slamming into the ground, his steps echoing throughout the house. Everyone was thankful that the children were upstairs, and this time Regina had made it so  no  one could wander anywhere but the playroom. He passed down the line of adults, and then ventured down the stairs.    
  
Everyone glanced at each other, no one really  understanding what was going on. Slowly the letter was passed down. Adult. To Adult. The final one to read it was Ruby. As she finished Henry came back. He slammed a beat up, patched up, old messenger bag onto the table. Using his free arm to slide plates and food out of his way. 

 

“Henry, she, Emma. She didn’t want anyone to open that, we already invaded her privacy enough. We, I, owe her that much at the very least. Let me respect at least one of her wishes” Protested Regina, her voice wavering as she spoke. “Please, please, don’t aid in taking anymore from her” her voice was that of a truly broken woman.  
  
“NO!” He slammed his hand into the table. Turning a glare towards his mother. “You owe her your fucking life, she saved you. Over and over again. Emma loved you with everything she had, always had. She wasn’t even going to stay in town. Not until she saw how I hurt you. Do you know the true reason she stayed in this god awful town?” Regina shook her head no.   
  
“I thought. We all thought. She stayed for you. For her parents. It makes sense” Regina trailed off. Her son glared at her, breathing deeply. He was still so short, his face still soft. His glasses perched on his nose. He looked like an angry twelve year old, and it made her heart clench.   
  
“No. She didn’t stay for me, and certainly not them. She told me, that first day at the castle. She told me, and I quote, ‘I can not bare to see you hurt a woman as caring, as loving, as your mother’ Emma stayed because she didn’t want me to hurt you anymore” Spat the boy. His mother wasn’t sure how much more breaking her heart could withstand at this point.   
  
Silently Henry and Regina stared at each other. One in pain, the other anger. Mills versus Swan. Regina had taken Emma’s name, while Henry had decided to keep his. Said it was his job to carry on his Grandfather’s name. That his parents would just have to have another kid if they wanted the Swan name to carry on, and both women had respected his decision.  
  
“Henry” Belle said gently. “As much, as I truly am unhappy with your mother right now, Emma has expressed that she didn’t want this bag to ever be opened. So why now, of all times, would you go against such strong wishes?”   
  
“Simple. I don’t know how, I don’t even know why, but I truly believe that the answer to saving the only mother I have is in this bag” Was spat accusingly at Regina. Who inhaled sharply in pain. He didn’t even notice how his words cut deeply into her already fragile heart. Honestly, even if he did, he wouldn’t have cared.  
  
The young, short man flung open the flap and began to yank out all of it’s contents haphazardly. Not caring if he damaged them in any way, much like a child he didn’t respect other people’s property or stop to think that he could be careful in any form. He was a selfish beast who was far too much like his grandparents.  
  
Soon enough the bag was empty, having only contained five objects. Inside had been Emma’s prized red leather jacket. A single photograph of a much younger Emma smiling brightly with a boy on her shoulders. Both were wearing jeans, rainbow suspenders, and bowties. Two legal documents; a birth certificate, as well as a death certificate. The last object was a flash drive shaped like a skateboard.   
  
“Rhydian Jacob Swan” Read Regina slowly, fingers tracing the name on the certificate of live birth. “Seven pounds three ounces. Twenty-three inches long. Born on the fourteenth of August. Emma had been only twenty-one”  
  
Everyone was silent. Trying to figure out how it was possible that, in all of these years, they had never learned that their savior, their friend, mother, wife, daughter had a second child. Ruby went to rub Regina’s shoulders but the woman jerked away, and Granny grabbed Ruby and pushed her back. Giving her a warning glare. Tink squeezed Regina’s shoulders, trying to soothe her friend in even a small way.   
  
“This is awful” Murmured Belle. “He died a week before his fifth birthday” She placed the second document down. Not daring to look at it anymore. “This explains her fear of small children, explains why she would never have children with Regina. It’s all because she lost her own.”  
  
With shaking fingers and draining strength the mayor picked up the single photograph. She fell into a chair, barely able to keep her tears in the corner of her eyes. One hand over her mouth as her eyes probed the picture. Noticing the seemingly infinite amount of love Emma had as she looked up at her laughing son.   
  
“She had another kid?” Was spoken in disbelief. He didn’t want to believe it, didn’t want to believe that she’d kept a child that was not him. But he quickly stored those thoughts for later, right now he had bigger things to deal with. “He was only four? I always woke up my mo- Regina when I was about that age.”  
  
“Even though she had another child doesn’t mean she would love you any less” Assured Granny. “And everyone here knows how desperately you had been begging for a little brother or sister since the day your parents got out of the cabin they were shacked up in”   
  
Under any other circumstances Regina would have blushed. The thought of Granny, or anyone else, knowing what Emma and she had done in the cabin she owned in the woods was mortifying. Anyone knowing about her sex life period was mortifying, but Granny? No that would have given the mayor a heart attack on any other day.

 

“At that age  I woke her up in a special, unique, way . So if we can give Emma the sleeping curse, if that could keep her alive until True Love’s kiss woke her up? We could bring him back. That kiss, his kiss, could it cure her?” He asked in Tink and Rumple’s direction, a hopeful look on his face.  

 

“I honestly do not know, however, if we were to do this we would need to infect her before her heart fully gives out. And. Henry. Her son. He’s not” The man sighed. “Bringing one back from the dead, I am simply not sure it can be done” He spoke softly, guiltily.    
  
“What other choice do we have?” Henry said after several seconds of tense silence. “We simply have no choice, I am open to other suggestions, but do any of you even have any? Any other ideas? Because if not then we need to act now. We have to save her” So they set about doing just that.   
  


They found that the key to saving her would have to be the sleeping curse. She wouldn’t wake from her coma, but her body was still failing thanks to the effects of what Emma had willingly taken. The sleeping curse would freeze her body, and they had to hope that when true love rang out it would cure the first poison, or by then they had a cure to tack on with true love’s kiss. So, they had dumped the curse down her throat. Trapping her in the netherworld.

  
  
“Why don't we just use fairy dust?” Snow asked fearfully. She squeezed her daughter’s hand, someone had been with the blonde at all times for the past week. The past week where she had been trapped in another dimension thanks to the sleeping curse.    
  
“Well, the problem with that, is that if your true love has yet to be born, or in most cases simply doesn’t exist, it will just pick a person at random. As it did with Robin for Regina” Tink looked down guiltily. “This brew used some dust, but it is one hundred percent accurate.”   
  
“That’s not what Blue always said” Protested Snow weakly. She still wanted to believe in Blue, but as the years went by it became clearer and clearer that the woman played God. Choosing who to help, who to leave behind. Choosing what truths to tell and what lies to spin.    
  
Sighing the new head fairy and the dark one shared a look of annoyance. Neither wanting to deal with explaining the whole Blue bullshit once again, it was a dead and over subject and only a few select people, like Snow, still wanted to believe in the long dead woman. Belle placed a calming hand on both magic user’s arms.    
  
“This elixir is difficult to make, one of the many reasons it has only been brewed in the past thousand years. Many who try have failed, and some have even lost their lives doing so. However, this is the second batch I have made alongside a fairy, which is why we know that it will work without side effects” Rumple stated calmly.    
  
“If the person who drinks the elixir has no true love then a black marking will appear on their hand. If their true love has yet to be born then black dust will circle the person. However, a red dust trail will lead to the love should they exist”   
  
Everyone took in this information once more. Letting it soak in. There was no guarantee she had a true love, no guarantee they had been born yet. Although, the most saddening was that even if her true love existed that even their kiss could not awaken Emma. She needed more, a deeper bond, between the two curses that had been placed on her they needed Rhydian to be reborn.   
  
“Without a potion of true love, made from Emma’s own magic, which means her own true love. There is simply no hope we will ever resurrect her child, which means we will never be able to cure her. She will be lost to the netherworld soon, so be prepared” With that the man eased the concoction down the saviors throat.    
  
At first nothing happened, but then Emma’s mouth opened and she exhaled loudly. Red whooshing from her mouth. It was a smokey, swirling dust. The color of blood. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief as the dust began to rise. Multiplying across the air. Emma’s true love already have been born meant there was a chance of saving her.   
  
Suddenly instead of floating on the air, moving slowly, it rushed forward propelled by it’s own magic. It headed straight towards the group of people, circling around twice before circling Regina out. Then before anyone could say a single world the red dust crashed into Regina’s heart like an arrow.    
  
“If I were the man that I once was, or even half of him, I would have several bone-chilling choice comments to make to you” There was a bit of hatred in Rumple’s tone. He came to stand before the shocked, and devastated, woman. He jabbed a needle into her skin without warning and pulled two vials of blood, as well as plucked a few hairs from her scalp.    
  
“All this time. True love” Murmured Snow in complete shock. “Then. Why. With. Ruby. But” Taking a deep breath Snow shook her head. Before staring straight into Regina’s eyes. She truly believed true love to be like the law of the land. “True love, it can make it through anything. Even this” She assured her daughter-in-law.   
  


“Hell no!” Swore Henry. “Once she’s awake if you come anywhere near me, her, or, or that kid” Despite trying to resurrect the boy he still couldn’t acknowledge Rhydian as his brother, or so much as say his name. “If you try I won’t hesitate to hurt you” Was finished angrily.   
  


Even at twenty-two years old he was shorter than both of his mothers, even his grandparents all across the board. He was just under five four, almost two inches shorter than Regina. While his birth mother was six foot, but right now, despite being a shrimp, he looked much bigger to his adoptive parent.    



	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I just need to put this out there so I don't have to explain as much. 
> 
> First, I hate snow and charming. I do. Truly. In the show. in any fic. I'll never be nice to them.   
> Second, my hatred for henry is only rivaled by my hatred of snow and charming.   
> Third, I think henry should never have been born, never have been made because someone as amazing as emma woudl have never willingly have slept with neal.   
> Fourth. I think Emma should be taller, so I make her taller.   
> Fifth. I understand you may not like my views on the characters, I understand you may be completely pro snow, charming, or Henry. i'm not. They'll not be depicted in any sort of hero role in my stories.   
> Sixth. I wanted to make something at least somewhat different then everything out there, thus, this was born. It's been a long friggin time in the making. I like it. I admit I am not the best writer, just a person who dropped out of school in middle school who loves to write. I do the best I can, and yeah, I hope people like it. But I write because I love it, because I want to tell a story, not to appease everyone.  
> Seventh, sorry for this super long thing no one likely cared about, so, enjoy the next chapter (sorry if its rushed...... I sorta had to get it finished so I could say all of the above)

  
  
  
With the potion of true love, that had proved quite difficult to bottle. It was a love truer than Snow and David's. A love so strong that it in itself was meant to be myth, a love that even Rumple himself had not seen rivaled. Tink herself had been flabbergasted by its strength. Which only made it more saddening that Regina had cheated on her wife.   
  
The woman had gone so far as to say that it made all of the true love couples in town, combined, look like your average puppy dog high school romances in comparison. Obviously her comment, which had not been made to hurt people, had pissed people off. Or rather. It had pissed Snow and Charming off.    
  
Now it was time for the hardest part. They had to resurrect a little boy. Snow, Charming, Henry, Rumplestiltskin, Ruby, Belle, Nova, Tink and Regina were all huddled around the well. First the dark one had dumped the boy's bones into the well with shaking fingers, as they fell Tink and Nova held hands and began to chant.    
  


No one wanted to think about the fact they were holding bones, that had once been a corpse. Not only that, but of a little boy. A boy not much older then a toddler. One who had been born of Emma, and lost to Emma. It was a chilling thought, a horrible thing they had done by digging this boy up. For if they failed, the desecration of his being could never be forgiven.

  
With the fairies deep in chant,  this  left Regina to toss several rejuvenating herbs and items once the bones could be heard hitting the bottom. Tink gave Rumple a swift nod and he poured the small amount of True Love he’d been able to contain using the blood and hair of Regina and Emma down the well. They all stared down the well, everyone beginning to chant spells alongside the fairies.    
  
After Tink stopped reciting everyone followed suit, sadness falling into their guts. Nothing had happened. Rumple grabbed onto Tink’s hand and Regina’s and they began to chant once more, allowing their magic to manifest and slam down the well harder than before, and the ground began to shake. Finally something was happening.   
  
Violently Snow and Charming were slammed back into the ground. Charming falling face first in the dirt, everyone else was able to keep standing, or at least kneeling in Ruby and Belle’s case. Henry had held onto the well for dear life to keep his upright position. The ground finally stopped, and smoke began to swirl out of the well. Circling the base. When it cleared a little boy was staring at them. Naked and confused.    
  
“Your not my Momma” He whispered as he looked all around him. His bottom lip began to quiver, and he balled his fists. “I want my Momma right now.” He demanded, even though he was petrified.    
  
“I know we are not her sweetheart. I know you are scared. Why don’t we get you into some clothes, and then I promise you we will take you to your Momma” Belle offered kindly, approaching cautiously.

 

Everyone was silent as he bit his bottom lip, big emerald eyes watching the woman carefully, he looked ready to run until she stopped coming forward. Then he let out a shaky breath and unclenched his fists before balling them right back up again as his eyes roamed all of the people in front of him.    
  
“Her!” he decided. Pointing at Regina. “She take me to my Momma” He declared, his voice shaky but determined. He was much taller than Henry had been at that age, but he held out his arms and Regina carefully wrapped the blanket Belle had been holding around him before picking him up into her arms.    
  
This caused Henry to glare, but he couldn’t exactly tell the little boy that the one person he would go near couldn’t hold him. So, for now, he decided to keep his mouth shut. He balled his own fists, however he told himself it was fully due to anger that Regina was touching the boy. That it had nothing to do with jealousy from the way she looked at him.   
  
The clothes that they had brought for him didn’t fit, even though they were for Rumple’s own five year old son. So the man had covertly conjured up a short outfit in a larger size. They were still slightly small, but they could at least squeeze the boy who wouldn’t let go of Regina into them.    
  
As  carrying him to the car in a blanket was one thing, carrying him around town in just a blanket would surely look weird, especially since he’d need to be put on Emma to wake her up. And somehow they all thought that Emma waking up to find her son had been pranced around town basically naked would not put them on her good side.    
  


  
  


“Why Momma sleeping?” He asked as they arrived at the hospital not twenty minutes later. During the car ride Regina had adjusted the clothes so they now fit properly. Rumple, who had been sitting next to her, had nodded his thanks.    
  
While he was powerful clothing wasn’t his strong suit. There was no way he could alter them while someone was already wearing them. Change them yes, alter no. Plus, he knew Regina was advanced enough that the boy wouldn’t notice, while there would definitely be smoke or magical particles should he have been the one to try. Magic would only scare the boy even more, and they didn’t need that.    
  
“She’s asleep because she is waiting for you to go and wake her up. So, how do you wake your” Henry paused, struggling to say the next word. “How do you wake up your momma? When I was little I had to say Henny up-up so Mommy up-up now” He had finally spit it out, but it hurt him to say it.    
  
“Like for wake up time?” Rhydian asked slowly. Regina slowly lowered him to the floor. He held onto her hand as Henry nodded. Though Henry had absolutely no idea what ‘Wake up time’ entailed. All he knew was he really, really hoped this would work.   
  
“Just like wake up time, but before that you have to kiss her” Henry told him. True love’s kiss, that of a child and mother. That was what was needed more than anything, it was the only thing that could call her back from the depths to which she had waded.    
A grin broke onto the little boys faces, showing off adorable dimples, in the same spot of his mother’s. Although hers were much smaller now that she was full grown. He raced over to a chair and climbed himself right up and leaned over and kissed her cheek. A smile widely painted on his face.    
  
“Momma” He said excitedly. He shook her, causing the chair to wobble slightly. “Momma! Gotta wake up! Gotta get da baddies and save da prince!” He spoke enthusiastically. Eagerly awaiting for her to wake up, shaking her continuously.    
  
“Mine” Emma gurgled as she shifted. It was the first movement in the entire six weeks, three days and eleven long hours she had been under the sleeping curse. In one solid, surprising, movement she grabbed the boy.    
  
Using only one arm to pull him close to her smooshing his body right alongside hers. Gripping onto him, her face in his neck. He didn’t seem surprised, in fact he giggled and wiggled. Wiggling until he could get a hand out to shake and poke at his mother’s face.    
  
“Gotta get up! Gotta get da baddies and save da prince! I goes to da nice lady today! Member Momma? First day. We go before Apollo goes to bed. Member Momma? Wakes up time, gotta get up and get da baddies!” His smile faltered slightly as Emma gripped him tighter, he was wondering why his momma wasn’t awake yet.    
  
“No” Emma whispered. Her whole body going rigid. Her eyes scrunching and clenching tightly. “No. No. No. A million times No. you can’t go” She clutched onto him even tighter. “No. No. Can’t go. Never letting you go”   
  
“Uhm. Did anyone ever stop and think that maybe we should research how. You know. Whatever happened happened that resulted in us needing to perform what we needed to perform?” Tinkerbell asked; her voice laced with worry.    
  
“No I don’t think anyone did, I should have thought of it. I was all tied up trying to help get everything we needed to bring the boy back” Belle bit her lip. “How could I have forgotten to do such an important thing?” Her husband rubbed her shoulders.    
  
Silence surrounded the room. Everyone looking at each other, how could all of them have been so stupid not to check into how Emma’s son had met his death? What consequences they would face should they have brought this boy back just for Emma to waste away. This wasn’t a guaranteed thing, they had hope and this was the best chance. Yet it was still far from one hundred percent.    
  
Mulan began to pace. Wondering how in the world things had gotten this far. She ran a hand through her hair. Worry eating at her. She didn’t want to lose her best friend, she didn’t want to lose her boss. Most of all she really didn’t want to have aided bringing a little four year old child back to life just so he could lose the only parent he had ever had.   
“We didn’t think this through at all” She groaned as she continued to pace. “We didn’t think about him. Not as a person, not at all. He was just an object we were using, even if we didn’t realize that at the time.”   
  
“Momma, Momma! I gotta go! Member? Momma gots a daywalker job. We no be nightwalkers no more” He said, his tone soft and confused. He stumbled over his words as he shook his mom. Fear creeping onto his face. He poked his mother’s cheek several times. “Momma”    
  
“No, no. Stay with me. Here. Forever. My perfect little boy” Emma spoke breathlessly to her son as she rested her forehead against the top of his head. One arm wrapped around him, holding his head down to her chest. Holding him as close as she possible could. Trapping him against her.    
  
Even whilst still asleep it was clear as day how terrified Emma was of letting the little boy go, the little boy who didn’t understand why he was suddenly in the forest. Why his mother wouldn’t wake up, why his mother was clutching onto him as if he had been gone far, far, too long. All in all they hadn’t completely thought any of this through, and that only became more and more apparent as the clock continued to tick in the background.   
  
“Emma, this. She believes fully that he still.” Rumple eyed the boy carefully, sighing as his fingers clutched tighter around the handle of his cane. “That he’s still gone. She’s not even conscious yet.” There was worry and fear in his tone.    
  
“Momma, please please wake up. Gotta get da baddies and save da prince” He repeated as he jerked his  head back to kiss her on the lips. His hands grabbing onto her face. “Wake up. Gotta get da baddies and save da prince. Your prince”   
  
Slowly Emma’s eyes fluttered open as he spoke his last two words and like the flip of a switch his bright wide smile was on his face once more. He hugged her tightly. She stared at him, shock apparent on her face. Carefully Emma pressed their foreheads together.    
  
“My prince? My Rhydian?” Fell from her lips, her voice catching on the questions. Her eyes drilling into his own. She couldn’t believe her eyes, didn’t understand a single thing that was happening. And as she stared at her son it was clear that she hadn’t noticed anything else besides him.    
  
“Why do you look so sad Momma? Are there goblins in your tummy?” He asked as he tried to scoot closer, a feat that could not be won because of the fact they were basically superglued together as it was. “Goblins bad”   
  
“No” Emma said a little stronger as she pressed her lips lovingly to his forehead. “Are you real? Are you here?” She asked as she stared into his eyes once more. “How do I know it’s really you? That it’s not some goblin trick?”   
  
“I’m me. You a silly Momma” Said the emerald eyed little boy with a giggle. “I is Rhydian Jacob Swan. The first born Swan baby. I is Momma’s favorite boy in in da whole galaxy. I’m momma’s woyo prince” He stated with pride.    
  
“My little warrior prince.” A smile crept onto the woman’s face. Tears threatening to spill down her cheeks as she kissed his face all over. Causing him to squirm and wiggle as he laughed and screamed.    
  
“Nows we gotta get up and out of beds! You gots the new daywalker job and I gots to go see the nice lady.” He spoke with enthusiasm, bright eyes and wide smiles. Even with all the craziness that was going on he was still a happy child, meaning he was well raised. At his words Emma’s smile vanished.    
  
Her eyes suddenly cruel and angry. It was clear she was in no way mad at the boy in her arms, a boy obviously loved possibly even more than she loved her wife. More than most in that room loved their children. Yet, as she looked at him, she looked ready to kill even the air that dared to brush past his skin. She looked like a demonic mother that would kill even the most innocent if it meant protecting her son.    
  
“Never, you are never going to daycare.” She spoke firmly, and the adults in the room glanced at each other. Wondering why the thought of daycare had a murderous look on their Sheriff’s, their savior's, face.    
  
“Momma saids that I gosta go see da nice lady so yous can go to yours new daywalker job” He reminded. “It gonna be okay. You promised on your prince member?” Emma’s eyes stared down into his and then she kissed him. Pressing her lips against his firmly, before resting their foreheads together once more.

  
“You are my promised land, my forever, my greatest thing that I have ever done.” She gripped his face. Thumbs stroking his cheeks. “You are my son, and I am not leaving you. No daywalker job for Momma. Momma stays with her prince”   
  
The boy readily agreed with her. Why wouldn’t he? He didn’t understand what was going on, his mother was his world. If she said that there was no daywalker job, that he wasn’t going to the nice lady then he wasn’t. He was alright with that, he was happy staying with his Momma. It was clear as day from the look on his face as he just looked at her.    
  
“Hey Momma?” He said. “How was I in the trees wiff new peoples? I member fells asleep in Momma’s bed. When I wokes up I wasn’t wiff you no mores and I was wiff them” It was clear he was confused and everyone shared a look. How was Emma going to explain that?   
  
“Magic” Emma told him. “But I promise you nothing, not even magic, will ever, ever take you away from me again. I promise you. You are my prince, my son, the firstborn Swan to grace this earth. I’d die to protect you.”   
It wasn’t until a few months after the wedding that Emma had started really treating Henry like her son. A large stream of jealousy ran up the full grown boys spine. Emma had never, not once, hugged him like she was hugging Rhydian. He could count the amount of kisses she’d given him on one hand, always on the cheek.    
  
He understood, deep down, that things were different between them. When he was born she had given him away, and for the first ten years he had been raised by another woman. While the younger boy had been born and placed into her arms. That Henry had never been her baby, while this being. This emerald eyed boy was.    
  
Knowing that didn’t aid in his jealousy. Henry was her son, and he knew that. He had been her child, her teenager, and now her very short man. Yet, he would never be what Rhydian had been, and is. Her baby, her toddler, her little boy. That stung deep inside of his guts. He needed comfort, but as the woman who raised him, the woman whose baby he really was, placed a hand on his shoulder he jerked from her touch.    
  
“Magic? Can you does magic Momma?” He said, fully believing in magic just because his momma said so. Everyone else had been avoiding telling him about it, but it was Emma’s choice. He was her son, and they were already in enough trouble with her as it was.    
  
“For you, my precious boy, I can do anything.” She kissed his cheek once more and adjusted her hold on him. “Hold on” She said directly into his ear softly, right before a cloud of a dark blue smoke surrounded them. Whisking them away. A dark blue so dark that it was nearly black.    
  
“Shit!” Cursed Mulan as she gripped the hilt of her sword with one hand and ran her other through her hair for the umpteenth time. “Where in the hell do you think they went? And fuck, she got her kid, and she’s alive. Great, but for all we know she’s in Antarctica!”    
  
“I’d say that as long as she’s not hell bent on killing herself anymore I believe we can handle whatever comes next” Snow said with determination. “Then we just have to get her and Regina back together, true love conquers all. Even if theirs is NOT better than mine”   
  
Snow’s words caused Henry to glare at her. He was already filled with many bad emotions. Resentment, anger, jealousy, hatred and he didn’t like any of them. He wanted Emma to love him, to love him like she loved his brother, a brother he wished had never come to be. Even if it was his brother, and not him, that had been able to awaken her.    
  
“And keep Ruby away from them both, any means necessary” Added Granny with a stern and disapproving glare towards her granddaughter who was at the edge of the room. The woman was part of the group. Dragged everywhere and used for her abilities, but she knew that she was fully unwanted and unforgiven. Nothing more than a dog on a leash.


	5. Magic

"Well. She's alive. Sent a text to prove it" Mulan said solemnly as she lifted her gaze away from her phone an hour later. They'd been combing the town since the moment they'd found the blonde missing. "It's short and to the point. Basically she's at Snow's old place, and I need to keep you all away from her and the boy or else. Says she's leaving soon"

So the two man team quickly texted everybody else and agreed to meet at Ruby's apartment, everyone would need to discuss what the plan of action was. Whether they would allow Emma the night to cool things off or if they would go in like David and Snow's favorite way; guns blazing and swords raised high.

The apartment was the best because it was in the middle of town, not too far from Emma's location, and that was where Belle was busy digging through old records trying to find out what had happened to Emma's boy. Mulan and Aurora were just closing the door behind them as they heard Belle hollar, and everyone rushed towards the dark haired beauty.

"I figured out what went wrong today. Emma dropped Rhydian off for daycare, and she went to her new job as warehouse security. Not even two hours later a man, who had lost custody of his children, came in. He shot seven children. Three died, another four were wounded. Three of the children that were shot were his, but only one died. His two youngest children survived. And. Rhydian. He had pushed the man's little girl out of the way. The bullet lodged directly into his heart" Belle had tears in her eyes as she looked up from her computer screen.

They all began to digest that information, their minds playing out scenes much to graphic and heartbreaking for anyone to experience. Everyone sort of just found a seat, mouths drawn tight, minds racing. How could anyone get past something like that? You take a different job to give your son a better life, and the first day he gets killed trying to protect a friend?

Marching over to her house was put out of their minds as sadness and pain ate at their hearts. As silence fully overtook the small apartment, as a tense unseeable fog fell over the large group of people, not seven blocks away an apartment was filling with love giggles and happiness. A little boy wrapped up in his mother's arms, and a mother with a little boy that she should have never had a chance to hold again.

"Magicky books?" Asked the little boy as he snuggled deeper into his mother's lap. "Can I has a puppy? You says no puppy cuz puppy make potties on the floor. But magics can make the puppy not go potty on the floor."

"You get new clothes, toys, and a new bed and yet you still want that damn puppy?" Asked Emma with a half smile. Eagerly her precious boy nodded. How could she deny him something? So with an elongated sigh she continued. "Fine. What kind of puppy, find one on my phone and I will locate something to make him fully trained"

In less than thirty minutes he had found not only a cute one, but a dog that Emma would actually approve of. His final choice had been a doberman. Which was Emma's second favorite breed of dog. However, she would much prefer if he wasn't using her foot as a chew toy. She had, indeed, found a spell to potty train the little guy. Everything else there was no such spell. It seemed that magic wasn't all powerful. Just mostly powerful.

Emma had found a great many spells inside the books that she deemed useful. One of the first ones she had tried was an age reversal spell. Emma had decided that she needed to keep up with her son, and it would make much more sense for her to go back to the age she had been when he had gone away. So. She was now quite satisfied in her twenty-six year old body.

Despite being one of the biggest uber-bitches who ever had the misfortune of touching earth Cora had a wide variety of spells that covered most realms. Including legal paperwork, and even fucking with the internet system to make it appear like her shit was fully valid. So Emma had put those to good use. Changing all her stuff to the appropriate ages, as well as Rhydians. Erasing his death records. Moving his birth records.

Now, under normal circumstances Emma would have never done such a thing. However she had frozen his internal clock. Making it so he would stay the age he was in this moment until a week before his birthday, so she wouldn't have to change it. Beyond that he was her little boy, and having him this way for an extra few months wouldn't be bad. Not at all, especially considering what she'd lost. She'd treasure the next few months, those extra months with him at four years old. Even if she had to deal with a puppy too.

Leaving this town would be hard, there was no doubt in Emma's mind about that. There was so many things still here. Or, really, what it boiled down to was Regina. Henry. Her heart still ached, but with the rebirth of her son it was at least beating again. Her son, her little boy. Somehow, someway, he was alive and she would not leave him. To do that, she had to protect herself. To protect herself she had no choice but to leave everything she'd come to know behind. Far behind.

Soon enough the blonde was fast asleep in the large and comfortable bed. She had fallen asleep watching the rise and fall of his chest. Emma was only awoken when he began to climb into her lap. She'd simply smiled, secured an arm around him as he buried his face into her neck and fell back asleep.

The second time she woke up was to someone pulling a blanket over the two of them. At first she hadn't recognized the sensation, her eyes adjusting as she had tried to figure out what was going on, panic settling in that she would lose her precious boy. Then her eyes had landed on the person providing the blanket, Regina. She was standing to her left, the top of the blanket still in her hands. Frozen in mid-maneuver.

Shocked Emma just stared at the woman. Wondering why she, of all people, was standing there. Why she would even think to cover them with a blanket. Yes it was admittedly cold, but why would Regina care? Blinking Emma realized that it was time to wake up. The clock read just past two in the morning.

Before the incident they had been on a pretty strict schedule. Bed was at three in the afternoon, and they were up at midnight. However they'd been too excited with magic and seeing each other that they had been awake for far longer than they should have been and had simply fallen asleep sometime after five PM.

"It's the lady from the woods Momma" Yawned out the little boy as he rotated around so he was facing outwards. Curled up in one of his mother's arms so he could look out at the woman. "Hi" He said as he snuggled into his mother shyly.

"Go back to sleep little one" Emma said softly, she knew her son was still much too tired. That he needed more rest, and she knew he shouldn't be privy to any conversation she were to have with Regina.

Swiftly Emma got to her feet. The boy cradled carefully in her arms. She carried him like an infant, and he happily yawned and clutched one hand on the collar of her shirt. Emma knelt down in front of the bunk system. The top had a slide and a handful of toys, more like a play loft then a top bunk. After she laid him down onto the bottom she brushed his hair from his eyes and kissed his nose. He closed his eyes and was asleep before she even began to pull the blanket up his body.

Reluctantly Emma stood and turned around. From her new position she could see her parents and a few other people in the living area. With a sigh she followed Regina over to the couches. When all she really wanted to do was transport herself and Rhydian away, far, far, away. However, that would have to wait.

"Thank the gods you're) alive" Said a very relieved Snow. "The barrier finally fell, and we have been so scared" She spoke in a rush. Her eyes drifting past Emma to the little boy breathing deeply, his little nose scrunching at the loudness of her voice.

Like it was second nature Emma flicked her wrist, conjuring a near translucent barrier around the bunk. Even Snow could recognize that type of barrier, a sound barrier. Regina used it often to keep unwanted ears from conversations, they would be able to hear any sounds the boy made but he wouldn't hear them. However the mere fact that Emma was using magic shocked everyone there.

"Y-you. You are really using your magic?" David said in a worried tone, he disliked all magic save for faerie magic. Then he paused, his eyes roaming up and down his daughter's form. "Wait, you look so young" Brows crumpled as he appraised her once more.

"I turned back the clock, made myself the right age when. Rhydian. Left. Cora was a huge menace, but her spell books, her knowledge, was vast" Emma crossed her arms, and raised her chin as she spoke. Eyes untrusting. "What do you people want?"

Everyone glanced at each other, everyone felt a need to take a step back. As the woman was exuding an aura of power, of something they couldn't quite place their finger on. However, as they glanced at each other, they decided that it was a stupid move to back up. They didn't need to insult Emma any further.

"We just want to talk to you. Emma, please, calm down. I know you are in pain, but you have to stay here. This is your home. Your eldest son, your wife, they are here. We are your parents. You belong here, you have no choice but to stay." Snow demanded, most were surprised she hadn't stomped her foot like a young child.

This was, of course, the wrong thing to say. Everyone save Emma and David had flinched throughout Snow's speech. Emma's reaction was visible anger. Nails digging into her upper arms, teeth grinding together, her nose crinkling upwards to reveal a sharp incisor. To her credit she'd managed to last the whole thing without interrupting.

"I do not belong here. Furthermore. I can not survive here" Her voice was forceful, angry. "With this. With him" She placed a hand on her stomach as she glanced back at her sleeping little boy. "I may be immune to the forgetting potion, but that doesn't mean I can't do my very best to fight to build a good life for us. Fight to put this place, and everything that has happened the past twelve years, behind me."

All Emma wanted to do was to move on. To forget the entirety of her time here, but that was impossible. Because, before, she had wanted Regina to be the victim. For people to pity her, for them to be nice so she could be happy. Safe. That plan had gone to complete, and utter, shit. Right now, she had to keep it together. Had to survive, had to move on. For her son.

"NO!" Snow actually stomped her foot as she shouted at her grown daughter. Snow was constantly forgetting that Emma was a grown up, and that she was not a Queen. "This. You can't leave Emma! I forbid it. Everything is here. You can fix everything with Regina, she is your-"

"Will this make you happy?" Regina interrupted Snow before she could spill the secret that she knew would hurt Emma more than help in this situation. "Leaving, forging a life with Rhydian away from this place. Away from m-" Regina couldn't stand to say 'me' so instead she said "everything"

"What will make me happy is irrelevant. Wanting isn't a part of this decision. It's need. I need to be strong, and I need to do what's best for my baby" Emma sighed as she ran a hand through her hair. "Leaving. It's the only chance I have to be who he needs me to be. If I stay then I will be miserable, that's not healthy for him. If I go, if I leave, then maybe I can heal."

Her words cut deep, more deep than Regina thought something could. She had single handedly destroyed the most important person to her. A strong, loyal, loving, person. An idiot, but her idiot. If only she had trusted in their love then this would have never happened. Yet she couldn't turn back the hands of time, not in that sense at least.

"Then I will not stand in your way, nor will I let anyone else here do so. I just need you to do one thing. You must promise to stay in contact with Henry" Emma turned her gaze to the young man who was standing off to the side, just sort of staring at the sleeping boy.

"I will, of course I will. I planned on it. Under the condition that he promised not to fight me on my choices. As long as he accepts what I am too do. And. This is the most important, he does not reveal my location to any person that I have not given permission for him to tell." Emma paused. "You must not give any, and I mean any, information on me or my son"

There were many words, phrases, options that Emma could have used. However the one she chose cut Henry the deepest. Little brother would have stung. But the way she had said my son, with such pride and love. Yes, he knew that she was proud of him, and loved him. However he was jealous. The little boy had Emma as a baby, and so the love was different. But Henry pushed down his feelings and stared Emma in the eyes.

"I promise you." He stated firmly, and Emma nodded at him. Accepting his words. "I won't ever betray you again, not for anything" His voice cracked as he spoke, but he hid his embarrassment well. Not well enough that Regina didn't give him a sad look, but it made it past the two idiots.

"Now that everything is settled will you please leave" It was a demand, not a question. "I do not want my son around you, and would someone please unfreeze Apollo" Was stated as Emma pointed at the frozen doberman puppy. Rumple pointed a finger and the puppy resumed his barking.

"Apollo. Come" Emma told the dog in a stern voice, he let out a whimper and ran to her feet. Where he turned around and stood between her legs. Wagging his tail so he slammed into her calves. "We eat those who intrude upon my space, not get frozen" She warned.

In no way did the little guy look ferocious. However Emma was staring down at him as if he was meant to attack and kill on command at his tender age. It was rather adorable and Regina regretted never letting the woman talk her into a pet, it was clear Emma was adept at training.

"All of these books, they were Cora's?" Rumple asked as he tapped his cane against the floor, to gain Emma's attention. All over books were stacked in tall towers, some open and stacked that way. Children toys scattered around them.

"Yes. They are. I put my 'unsavory' background to good use for once. I will return them when I am done with them. I have already completely memorized three of them already. Though, I do not understand why you spin gold when it is much easier to just simply"

Emma held out her hand, palm facing up. As if she was going to conjure a fireball, but instead she conjured a cute little teddy bear. Then she waved her free hand over the object twice before muttering two words under her breath in elvish. The teddy bear turned to pure gold, her hand dropping almost an inch thanks to the weight.

"The last time Cora herself tried that spell she gave Midas his touch" Rumple spoke in complete awe. "It has only been perfected without incident by three users as far back as recorded magical history yet with no training you have mastered it"

"I wouldn't know anything about any of that. Nevertheless. This is the last time I ask you nicely. Leave this place, and do not return" With that Emma turned around, walked over to her chair. Crawling into it.

The puppy gave a pathetic little growl at them before circling the chair and jumping up onto his master's lap. Cuddling onto her lap and putting his head on the arm so he continue his pitiful growls until the people finally left. It was only then both he and his master fell back into a slumber.


	6. A New Home

  
  
“We can’t just let her go, we have to go after her” Snow said as they watched Emma’s conjured ford F-350 drive past the line, slowly disappearing in the distance. “We must, we can’t do nothing. She belongs here”

 

“There isn’t any way for her to trust me again Snow. While she may still love me, and the gods know I still love her, perhaps out there she can find someone who she can love enough to be happy. How could she be happy with me after everything I have done? I destroy everything I love, and as much as I wished it could be, Emma was no different” Spilled quietly, brokenly, from Regina’s lips. This time it wasn’t fate, there was no one to blame but herself.   
  


The pain was clear in her voice. Even Henry gave his mother, as mad as he was at her, a squeeze on her arm for support. He stilled loved her, he couldn’t change that, she smiled gratefully at him. Snow sighed, and David began to pace. While Belle turned to face her friend.    
  
“Why did you do it Regina? Through all of this. The letter stated you have been doing it since you got married. If you truly loved Emma, which, it’s completely undoubtable, why on earth did you sleep with someone else? With Ruby of all people?” Her words were not accusatory, if anything Belle’s words were sad, confused even.   
  
No one had really asked this question. At least, not when they’d truly been able to listen. But now everyone, including David, stopped to stare and listen. Wondering how someone such as Regina, who could love with every fiber of her being could do such a thing. Yes, she could hate with every fiber as well, but with the ability to hate like that came the ability to love.    
  
“I tried to end things. But I am weak. I was never strong enough to resist for long. I was truly waiting for the day Emma left me. I believed that one day she would wake up and realize she didn’t love me. I wanted to be able to pretend like I hadn’t love her. To protect myself if I lost her” Regina stared out at the road with such longing it broke even Henry’s hardened heart. “I can never take those mistakes back” Was added softly, barely audible, but yet, everyone heard it.

 

All of it was true. Regina, despite every wrong, and there were many, had done, loved Emma. She just had never learned how to love properly, and beyond that. Regina had only been taught to expect hatred, and pain. She had let her insecurities take full hold of her person. Allowed halfway decent sex and her own irrational thoughts of Emma one day leaving her to take over her thoughts, and actions.    
  
When, if she had simply trusted in Emma. Trusted in their combined love, if she had ever voiced any of her concerns and fears with the blonde. Or even to Archie. Things could have been vastly different. They could had been happy, could have had children. Emma wouldn’t be this. Different form of herself. They would have been together, rather than apart in a way that Regina doubted she could ever fix. All she could do was stare where the blondes truck had once been with a heavy broken heart.

 

The moment that the blonde was across the town she felt an overabundance of emotion. Refusing to let that stop her she kept going. Deep down she knew what she was doing was the right thing for not only her son, but for herself. Despite the pain, emptiness, fear, guilt, and even a small bit of relief she kept her mind on going forward. To keep moving on, to start a new life for the toddler sleeping beside the puppy in the backseat.    
  
Everything was so new, yet, the same. It was confusing. As such Emma had to keep glancing in the rear-view mirror to make sure Rhydian really was there. To assure herself it wasn’t some sort of hallucination. Everytime she saw the duo cuddled up together in his booster seat she couldn't help but smile.    
  
He was her family, the only family she had ever needed before she’d been dragged to the town in Maine she was doing her damnedest to forget existed. Rhydian was all she had ever dreamed about. A son, maybe a dog, a little house. She’d never wanted a wife. Not until she had locked eyes with Regina.

 

Maybe a daughter to go alongside her son, but, when Rhydian was born she knew she was done. He was perfection, and that was how she knew this new journey  of theirs would be fine in the end. As long as she had her son, she had hope. Right now, even though her heart would never heal, she knew that just having Rhydian would be enough. Eventually.

  
“Wow” Breathed out Rhydian as he slid down his mom’s side. He stared up at the house with wide eyes. His new home. The biggest place he’d have ever lived. It was an actual house. “It’s so big” He paused as he whipped around to look at his mom. “Can I has four puppies?” Emma could only chuckle as she ruffled his hair.    
  
Since money was no object, Emma could fuck with the systems and fill her bank account at will, or she could conjure pure gold. So she had found the perfect house. It was a three story mansion with a wrap around deck two and a half hours outside of Seattle. Thirty minutes from the heart of Puyallup.    
  
It sat on five thousand acres. Came with two barns, and a pond big enough to swim in if she cleaned it out a bit. Their own little forest in the back. It was close enough to the city for them to be active there, while also far enough away that they could basically blend into the background. The best of both worlds. Which was exactly what Emma had wanted.    
  
This was a home where they could start their future. A place for Emma and Rhydian to live, to grow. To move on from their pasts. Emma hoped they could be happy here. Money was taken care of, but Emma wanted to  procure a part time job. Something she would enjoy where she could also have Rhydian nearby, as she was pretty sure at this point that hell would likely freeze over before he was sent to daycare again. This was where they would be reborn.   
  
  
Four months came through like a whirlwind. Emma was able to forget, for the most part, her time in the coastal town in Maine. Able to focus on her brilliant little boy. She was happier than she had been in ages, but that didn’t mean that she didn’t think of Regina often. Didn’t mean that when she tucked in her energetic son at night she didn’t wish the woman was beside her. Helping her raise him. 

 

When Emma had gone job hunting she had decided she still wanted something physical. She was now a personal trainer at the YMCA. At first she kept Rhydian at her side, but then she had met a woman who became her new best friend, who now ran the daycare, and since she trusted her wholeheartedly she had grown to allow her son to hang out at the daycare that was on the first floor.    
  
There were many wonderful things about working at the YMCA. One, free membership. Two, she really did truly love her job. Not to say she didn’t love being sheriff, she had, but it wasn’t a small enough town for her to join and be sure she could still come home to her son at night. Three she could meet other parents who homeschooled their children. So Rhydian had more friends then Emma had ever dreamed of having.    
  
“I turned five today” Rhydian said as raced circles around his mother. He was far too excited, but his happiness and constant stream of energy made Emma laugh. The now six month old Apollo was keeping stride perfectly. He really was the perfect dog, just like Rhydian was the perfect son.    
  
“Yes. You did. That is why we are having your birthday party today. All of your friends from the Y are gonna come” Emma replied, smile never wavering. They were at the park, in her arms was a giant cooler, on her back a duffel filled with all sorts of goodies. That wasn’t even counting what her friend and her two kids were hauling behind them in little wagons.   
  
Eagerly the little boy had helped set up the tables and watched with interest as his Momma set up the barbequer, as she had downright refused to use the shit ones they had cemented into the ground. People started to arrive right as they were finishing the tables up. And the smile on the boy’s face as the children came into view was enough to make a thousand of these parties worth it to his mother.    
  


Even Henry had showed up, right on time. He had, of course, posed as Emma’s little brother. As how else would you explain a twenty-six year old and twenty-two year old? Henry had mostly sat back and watched everyone else interact. Not that Emma took notice of this, she was almost always at the grill or within six inches of her youngest son.    
  
Really he couldn’t blame her. Sure he had been extremely jealous, and even bitter, when this had all started but he had come to terms with everything. Well, he had come a long way to coming to terms with them. He still felt pangs of jealousy, but what child wouldn’t? Especially a fully grown one of a much younger sibling?   
  
It was as clear as day that Emma doted on her youngest. However, she didn’t hover. Or at least not in a way that bothered the smaller boy. Rhydian was always smiling, always rushing back to his mom if she was at the grill. Showing her the new toy, or telling her about  one of the games he had played with one of the many other children.    
  
However there was one thing that Henry truly didn’t like. He didn’t like the way Emma’s friend was looking at her. Didn’t like the way she was at her side constantly, and when she wasn’t she was with Rhydian. Absolutely detested it. So when Emma took his younger brother, and the woman’s two children, towards the water with a few other kids and parents he decided it was time to get to the bottom of things.    
  
“Hello there. I’m Henry Mills” He spoke politely, with a fake smile. “We haven’t been properly introduced, not hard when the party is filled with five year olds” He even laughed a little, trying to keep this woman calm and appear friendly.    
  
“Oh! Henry! Yes. I have heard so much about you! I’m Lucy. I’m Carver and Paris’s mother” She said enthusiastically and with a bright smile. Under any other circumstance Henry would have genuinely liked his mother’s friend. But that look. He knew the look she had been giving her. And he didn’t like that.    
  
“Those are the two chasing Emma right? Rhydian babbles on about them, they are his best friends as far as he is concerned.” Henry spoke as if he didn’t already know the answer. Lucy glanced back, giving Emma THAT look again before chuckling and nodding at him. “Very cute. Are they twins?” He asked.    
  
“Might as well be, they are six months apart. My ex-wife and I both used a surrogate. We were aiming for nine months apart, but they had other plans. Carver was a few weeks late, and Paris came several weeks early.” Lucy paused. “But I wouldn’t change either of them for the world.”    
  
Quickly Henry’s began to put together scenes in his head. Threading together the few times Emma had mentioned this woman, and the plethora of times Rhydian had mentioned her children. He knew that Emma trusted this woman completely, as she allowed Rhydian to stay at the daycare on her days.    
  
“Ex-wife? Does that mean you are divorced?” He did his best to sound inquisitive rather than annoyed. He really didn’t like this woman. His suspicions of her intentions with his mother was rising exponentially.    
  
“Oh my yes. Since the children were just under two. I found Jenna cheating on me, with a man of all things. We divorced, and she allowed me to keep the house on the condition that her parental rights were revoked and she never had to see them again” Lucy let out a sigh as she thought about it. 

  
The fact that story was familiar was not lost on Henry. Yes they were different, but in essence. The same. Lucy’s wife had cheated on her. They had divorced. Lucy had kept the children. Regina had cheated on Emma. They had even gotten a legal divorce. Emma had kept Rhydian. Keeping contact with Henry.    
  
“My deepest apologies. No one should have had to go through such a thing.” Here he was actually legitimately sincere. Henry could see why Emma and this woman would bond. Could see why they would be drawn towards one another and strike a friendship. With that said Henry was not blind.    
  
Sure as far as he had been able to observe the looks and glances were one sided. Lucy had a crush on Emma, a huge one. Henry would probably say she was in full blown love with his blonde parent. And maybe back when shit first went down he would have been okay with that, maybe even helped them get together.    
  
Not now. As time had trickled by he had been able to get past his anger, his vision had unclouded. Even he could see that Emma belonged with Regina, and vice versa. So this woman and Emma getting together in a romantic sense just wouldn’t do, no matter how much they clicked. And Henry would be damned if he sat by and watched it happen.    
  
“Your sister went through something similar, as you know. I still can’t believe it. Emma is such a wonderful, magnificent, caring person. I was in some real trouble when she showed up, nearly losing my house. She helped me fix up the place and even helped me get a steady job. I run the daycare at the Y six days a week.” As she spoke she had sent another longing glance at Emma, who was busy splashing a bunch of children.    
  
“Yes. I agreed. I still can’t believe it either” Mused the young man. Able to speak another completely true sentence. “Sometimes bad things happen to good people, it’s just the way our world works. People make mistakes, people screw things up. We, as humans, are messy fully imperfect creatures”   
  
“That is true. Though. I guess I can at least be thankful that Jenna didn’t sleep with my best friend. That kind of betrayal, to be truthful, I am surprised Emma is doing as well as she is. I don’t think I could be where she is now if that was how it went for me. Emma is amazingly resistant and strong” Oh yeah, if Henry didn’t already know Lucy was in love with the woman he would have certainly known now. He wondered how Emma could be so dense.    
  
They spent a few more minutes talking alone before all the kids, and the handful of parents who had gone along, had come out of the water. Then there were presents to open, a second round of food, and then cake. Henry had even spent some time speaking to Emma alone while Lucy helped Rhydian and a few other kids paint the grass with special chalk.    
  
By the time Henry climbed into his car to head home he was fully convinced that he had to act, more than that that he had to act immediately. Because while Emma had yet to notice that Lucy was beyond interested he was petrified of what would happen if she did. Lucy was a wonderful woman that would never cheat on Emma, a truly good person. Just not the right one for Emma.    
  
If his mother could sleep with Ruby for all these years and not love her. Then Henry had no doubt that Emma could move on and love someone else thanks to the way Regina’s actions had impacted her. The very thought of her moving on made him scowl and grip the steering wheel. His parents belonged together, he knew Regina had a whole helluva lot to make up for, but he was certain they could make it through anything. As long as they did it together. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it wasn't up yesterday, found out my little sister. (well not by blood but whatever). Well her dad is getting 'pissed off' that ever since I took her and my four brothers camping that shes becoming someone totally different and gay and 'boyish'. And he's been my friend for like. Four years. So I was just super livid that he doesn't want me hanging out with her. He never had a problem before, i take her to school functions, help her with homework... when i understand it anyway. Watch her on weekends and even weekdays when he is busy. She's thirteen. She's becoming herself, I have not done anything. But typical straight guy attitude. Blame the gay kid.
> 
> Sorry again for being late, and the overshare, but, it just pisses me off and it's not worth talking to her dad about. Anyway, leave any thoughts you had.

This. Coming here. It was hard to do. Hard to stand on this porch, and had taken Regina a good twenty minutes to even start contemplating if she had the strength needed to lift her fist to knock upon the wood of the door. However, she had known, down to her very soul, that she loved Emma. And that she would do anything it took to win her back, so in the end she had found the courage to knock.

"I got the door" Shouted out a voice that the mayor had never heard before. A female voice. More so. As the door swung open it revealed an attractive woman that Regina had never seen before. This woman blinked at her, smile on her face. Before saying "Hi there! What can we do for you?"

The first thought that came to mind was that this woman needed to die a painful, humiliating death for daring to be anywhere near the woman she loved. However, her second was that she had, obviously, gotten the wrong house. Henry wouldn't have sent her here if she had moved on? Right? She certainly hoped not.

"I'm. Well I believe I have received the wrong house number. Perhaps you could be so kind as to help me. I am looking for Emma Swan" Regina barely managed to get the words to form, her mind was too preoccupied on why her son would have given her the wrong address. He was a smart boy, he didn't make mistakes like this.

"Oh! You've got the right house!" Those were not the words she wanted to hear. "Sure thing I can get her for ya, just one moment Miss" The lady turned around so she was sideways. Looking down the hallway of the house. "SWAN" She bellowed. "Come out, some lady's looking for you"

Panic settled into the pit of her stomach. There was a woman at Emma's house. Who was obviously very comfortable, too comfortable, there. Her thoughts were swirling, all focused on this random attractive woman that quite possible was Emma's shiny new wife. One who wouldn't fuck up everything just like she had. She was frozen, but all she wanted to do was race away.

Even if only back to a town that still tormented Ruby daily. They had given up tormenting Regina on a minute basis when Ruby had basically kidnapped her in her own house. It had been, surprisingly, Charming who had noticed something was wrong when driving past her house. Ruby had tied her to a chair and was trying to shove a potion down her throat.

The wolf had been jailed for a month before being released. Now everyone blamed the obsessed wolf more than Regina. Who they all viewed as a weak woman. Not that they were wrong, Regina had figured out why she had truly done it for so long. Years of abuse and knowing things would go wrong had conditioned her into ruining things herself, before anyone else could.

She would never make the same mistakes again. Regina didn't want to return yet, but, the mere thought of Emma with someone else. It hurt. What hurt most of all? Was knowing that she deserved so much more pain, knowing she had caused even worse pain, knowing that she had no right to be hurt. Not anymore.

"Three five year olds do not a fun time make! Especially ours!" Was grunted. Ours? Regina's eyes widened. Were they in such a commitment they were sharing children? Not to mention. That voice was the very one she had longed to hear for far too long. "Like. Sheesh. Monkeys!"

"Carter! Paris! You know better, get off Emma right this instant. Dian, you too. All three of you know better then this!" The woman said sternly. A trio of groans were heard as heavy steps came towards them. Dread spread through the queen chest, she was still unable to run away. But she was not ready to know the truth of this woman's relationship with her true love.

Now more than ever before she wished she could time travel. To go back to before the wedding. Tell her past self all of what had happened, beat her into the right kind of thinking if she had to. To do whatever it would take to keep herself from doing such a vile, evil thing to the woman she loved. To fix everything before it was too late. With that said, she knew, that was impossible. Even with magic.

"So, what can I do for ya thi-" Emma came to a fast, whiplashing even, halt as she realized just what lady was standing on her front porch. She'd swung the second door open to reveal Regina in all of her glory. She was stunned for a moment before "Regina" Was stated breathlessly.

"Wait? Wait! Hold up! As in. The Regina? Your Jenna?" As this strange new woman that Regina immediately hated spoke, pure hatred filled her previously happy eyes. Like a fire. One that Regina wanted to squash by burying this woman alive, slowly. She didn't want this woman anywhere near her love.

Visions of at least twenty different ways to murder the woman before her ran through Regina's mind as time seemed to stand still. She was jealous, even though she knew, deep within the achy confines of her heart, she had no right to be. They were here, standing on this porch, opposing forces, because of her actions.

"Yeah. She. She's Regina" Emma managed to say. Effectively ending the long, awkward, silence. "Lucy. Would you mind taking Rhydian over to Paulie's party with you?" She asked, trying her best to regain her composure. "He shouldn't be here while I talk to her, and, it is probably all done best in private. I don't want him to miss it, in case this takes time"

"Of course, it's not a problem. Just. Swan, please, call me if you need me. Big Paul and Tore won't mind watching our" Regina hated how she said 'our'. "Kids if need be." This, Lucy, said before rounding up the children. Who followed her out obediently. Regina's heart clenched at the sight of Rhydian who waved at her.

Once her car had pulled away Emma had, reluctantly, led Regina inside of her home. No words were spoken as they headed into the kitchen. Where Regina sat and watched as Emma grabbed two mugs, and made them coffee. Her hands shaking the entire time. Then, she sat down at the table. Still unable to look Regina in the eyes. Just stared down into her cup.

"So. What are you doing here?" It was spoken quietly, but loud enough to break the silence. Emma took a sip of her coffee, not able to hide the wince that occurred. It was still too hot, yet, it still seemed less dangerous then the woman across from her. "Before. I. I know Henry told you where I was, so, just don't lie to me" The not again being left unsaid, but deafening even in it's silence.

Even if she wanted to Regina knew, even before that woman had swung the door open that Emma would know who had given her the information. She hadn't planned on bringing the subject up at all, as she didn't want Henry in trouble. Regina was left to only hope that by avoiding any further mention of it that the blonde wouldn't take it out too hard on their poor son.

"Day one. I've. By Zeus. I have wanted to run after you, ever since that first moment. But. I thought you needed me to let you go. I've regretted it. Every second of letting you go. I needed to see you. I don't care about your new. Girlfriend. Please. Give me a second chance. I'll do anything. Just tell me what I need to do" The mayor was literally pleading.

"Huh? Girlfriend?" Emma asked, clearly confused. Face crinkling in that special way that always made Regina smile. As it was simply just too adorable for words to truly describe. "You mean Lucy? No. She's a good friend. Her ex wife." Emma paused. "We share a similar history. Her kids are Dian's best friends. And. Regina. We. We just can't be. You don't love me. And. I can't. I just can't go through that again."

"That's just it, I do love you! I have always loved you. I just. I know it doesn't change what I did. But. I just couldn't believe that you loved me. Please. Please. I'll move out here. We can start slow. Just. Just tell me I have a chance. A tiny flicker of hope. Please. I'm begging you" Regina was right, she was begging. In a way that Emma had never seen before, and it hurt her.

"You may think that you love me, but if you had loved me you wouldn't have done what you did with Ruby. With what I thought was my best friend. Especially not for such a long time. And. Even if I believed that this love was more substantial than a guilty loss. I would live every moment of our time together in a constant fear that the next man or woman that walked by could be the very one that takes you away from me again. That's not good for my son, or myself, or even you. You deserve someone who you can love and trust, someone who can love and trust you. I don't trust you"

That. There were not enough words in Regina's mind to accurately describe how much it hurt to hear the woman she still viewed as her wife say those words. To know. Emma still loved her, but didn't trust her. And from the way she spoke, could never trust her. Regina felt defeated and broken all over again.

Despite the clear rejection she placed zero blame on Emma's shoulders. Because it wasn't her fault. It was all of Regina's. She knew full well whose fault it was. Knew her weakness and stupidity had led them to this point. Knew that had she simply trusted Emma, trusted herself, that they wouldn't be here.

"I was only ever with her because I thought you would leave me one day. I thought you could never really love me like I still love you. I thought that when you left, because I truly believed you would. I could at least pretend that I hadn't loved you either. That way you, and no one else, would know my pain. My weakness" Choked out Regina. Trying not to cry. "I know. I know what I did was wrong, and I know it's unforgivable, but I still have to try. Because I can't stop loving you."

To make matters worse Regina could tell that Emma was choosing her words carefully, because, as always, the blonde was doing her best not to hurt Regina. After everything. After Ruby. She still didn't want to cause her undue pain, even if the pain was overdue. Even if she deserved be drawn and quartered and worse for breaking a woman as amazing as the one sitting before her.

"Alright, let's move forward as if all of this is true, what happens when you stop believing Regina? It would be the same problem, just a new place. A new life. The life I have out here. With him. You know I still love you, and I wish things were different. You can't begin to understand how much I wish I could simply fall into your arms and everything would be okay. Life doesn't work that way though." Regina wiped back tears at Emma's words.

She had spoken softly, never looking at Regina. Her eyes damn near drilling holes into her now near empty coffee mug. Throughout the entire conversation she had never looked directly into her ex-wife's eyes. She just couldn't, she'd glance at her lips, her nose, and her coffee. Never Regina's eyes. And Regina had noticed, and it stung.

"Please. Emma. I know. I know it's hard, but I'll do anything to win your trust. Please. We can be better than we ever were before. I would rather die than ever betray you again. To dare to take you for granted again. I can be better, we can be better. We belong together, Emma, please, tell me you see that." Tears flowed freely down her cheeks at this point.

Hearing the woman she still loved, despite everything, speak like that moved Emma. That was true. More than that it hurt. Like someone skinning her alive. Hearing Regina so broken, so defeated, so sorry. It was killing Emma. She didn't want to hear it anymore, she wanted Regina to be strong. Like she had always been.

Completely defeated emotionally and mentally the blonde let out a long, heavy, sigh into the air. Leaning back and glaring up at the ceiling, avoiding Regina's gaze once more. She ran both of her hands through her hair, hoping for some sort of answer to come. It didn't. But Emma knew this had to end. She knew she could never be what Regina needed her to be, that had been painfully proven.

"Regina. I am so sorry, but, the truth is. Even if you came here it wouldn't, couldn't change anything. We can't erase the past. If I still could, trust me, I would. I wish that I still held that ability. But I don't. And I can't pretend. It wouldn't make either of us happy. So get back with Ruby. Maybe she's your true love. Move on. I know I may not be able to, but that hasn't stopped me from trying. Please, believe me, I wish you all the happiness I could never give you." Emma finally said.

Kicking and screaming would get her nowhere, but Regina wanted to. Desperately. To kick and scream and tell Emma the truth. That they were true loves. However, she knew that information would be more damaging than helpful. That it might actually kill Emma. She couldn't tell her. Not yet. So. She allowed Emma to show her to the door, and she left.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey look. I managed to get it up on time. I am currently in the legitimate middle of nowhere in my state. (will be for, ugh, 4-6 weeks for work) I am surrounded by idiotic trump supporters. (HELLO Stein, Johnson, or Clinton is WAY better!). And to post this, I have to sit on the hood of my car on the side of US-97, 10 minutes from town to get my stupid mobile hotspot to hit my laptop, because while the walmart has it, it won't connect to my stupid laptop.
> 
> Which, thankfully, I did NOT throw into oncoming traffic. I am still pondering that though. Well now that I have complained enough, without further ado, please enjoy this chapter.

 

Despite everything Emma had said during their conversation, Regina knew she couldn't stay away. So she had procured herself a cozy two bedroom apartment in a nice complex half a mile away from the YMCA. She had even been able to get herself a job, an administrative position no less, at the Y. The job did mean she spent a rather large portion of her day behind a desk with paperwork, but it was less stressful than being a mayor. Meant a paycheck, and she was working at the same place as Emma.

Anytime she saw the woman she loved she was polite, and Regina did her best not to push Emma into anything. If nothing else, Regina wanted to be her friend. For three months, time passed slowly on, with minimal words, and only a handful of short conversations. Then Emma had, finally, agree to let her see Rhydian. Mostly because the little boy had been begging to see her.

"Look. I need you to understand, this isn't for you, for me, for us. Or anything saying that I want to spend more time with you. The truth is. Lucy thinks it is best that we allow you to see him. As she believes you are his second parent, and really, in a way, you are. Rhydian" Emma paused.

Her words cut through Regina like a knife. She knew she shouldn't hope for anything, not even friendship. She did, she hoped, beyond all hope, that one day they could at least be friends. Then. To know that Lucy had been a part of this, that Lucy held enough claim over Emma's son that Emma was using "we allow" in her statements. That stung, in a way Regina didn't recognize.

Running her hands through her hair Emma took a deep, long breath. This was hard on her, she didn't want her son with the woman. She didn't want Regina here. Yet, she did, she wanted to see Regina everyday. Wanted to fall into her arms. It was entirely confusing, and she hated dwelling on it.

However. They worked together, sort of, different departments but enough to see each other nearly every day. Emma had to admit, Regina was polite and rarely tried to engage in more than a polite Hello in the halls. Then there was Rhydian. He wanted to be around Regina. Emma knew she had to think of him first. Had to make this situation work as best as possible. Finally, Emma found her voice.

"Rhydian adores you. I don't understand it, and I really don't need to. The fact of the matter is he truly does. You brought him back to life, something I can never repay you for. Because of that you are kind of like his second parent. I just ask that you don't fill his head with dreams of us being together once more" Regina opened her mouth, clearly about to interrupt, but Emma held up her hand to stop her.

While Emma paused she continued to stare straight at Regina, right below her eyes. Even though she was silent it was clear she was not ready for her ex to speak just yet. Emma's fears were swirling deep inside of her gut. About what would Regina say to her son, deep down she believed whatever went on between the two would not be manipulative. That did not stop her from fearing it. Didn't stop her from fearing that Regina couldn't love him like she should. Yet. As much as she feared those things, she knew she was being irrational.

"Don't take him with you if you can't love him like he's clearly desperate for you to do. Which, I have no doubt you will love him. That you can. But. I have to protect my boy. And he wants to go with you. It's why he sneaks out of daycare, and Zeus knows I am hoping this will cure that. I have enough issues with daycare without worrying Luce and Fred freaking out because he's the only kid they have ever lost" With that Emma finally relinquished the boys bag to her ex wife.

An entire weekend, that was how long Regina would have him. Until now it had been the rare afternoon at the Y. Regina had only gotten that because Emma was busy and Rhydian had already snuck off, or thrown a hissy fit the likes of which Regina had not had to experience prior to Henry's tenth birthday.

"Thank you Emma. This means so much. Allowing me to have this time with him. This isn't some plan to win you back. Not saying I don't have such plans. I love Rhydian for himself. Since I first laid eyes on him all naked and confused at the well. He was the son, second son, I always wanted, but we had never had." Was uttered softly, but firmly, from her lips. "Which, I know, is my fault"

Taking a deep breath to calm down the guilt, the anger, the love, and simple melting pot of emotions erupting inside of her body and soul. Regina's statement conjured all sorts of things within Emma. The blonde still couldn't think of what to say. She'd wanted another child, she just had not been able to do it. Not after Rhydian.

When she had finally been ready and able to tell Regina what had been her darkest, deepest, secret she'd found her fucking her best friend. How could she have brought it up at that point? She didn't want to voice that aloud now. Didn't want to bring up anymore drama. That didn't stop her from thinking that had Regina never cheated they could have worked past her issues together. They wouldn't have Rhydian, but perhaps another little boy or girl.

"Hurry up Gina! I wanna go!" Shouted out Rhydian from the car before his mother could come up with something to say. Effectively tearing her from her internal monologue. From the many scenarios playing inside of her mind. From the what could have beens. Emma blinked away the visuals, and the tears.

"Go, love, I'll see you sunday." Was pushed past the meteor sized lump that now resided in the blonde's throat. Regina nodded, and climbed into the driver's seat as Emma glanced back at her son. He was buckled in the back seat tightly, both women had checked, a thousand watt smile on his lips.

"Byes Momma! We gonna go to the movies and I gonna tell yous all bouts it when we comes back on Sunday" Rhydian promised, his grin threatening to take over his entire face. His voice filled with so much excitement. It made Emma's heart clench, leaving her to watch with sad eyes as the car pulled away with the two people she love most inside of it.

After her son was gone she had gone home, and she was realizing that she was a brand new all time low. The way Emma saw it, though, was that she simply had no other options. She had to do this. Lucy, she couldn't have sex with her, not even some random woman she picked up at a bar. No. Those wouldn't work.

That left Emma with only one viable option in her opinion. She would have to pay for it, the good side to that was she figured if she was paying for it and she failed to do the act the hooker she hired couldn't go blabbing to people about it as long as she still paid her. Or, at least that was what she hoped.

Which was why there was now a prostitute lying in her bed. The woman was beautiful, and young at only twenty-three. She was clean, Emma had ushered her straight into the shower the moment she had arrived even though she had seemed clean enough. This woman, Candycane, had even given her recent proof of her STD testing. To prove she had no diseases.

So, considering all that, and the fact she was a very high priced call girl, this should be easy. It had been too long since Emma herself had achieved any sort of release. So long since her divorce. So long since she had so much as kissed another person. She hadn't even really touched herself, Emma had always much preferred actual sex to masturbation.

Kissing this woman, this beautiful woman who anyone would have been thankful to so much as kiss her. Yet, it felt as if Emma was cheating. It felt wrong, completely wrong, so much so that Emma had to completely give up on the idea itself. Needed to stop feeling guilty when there was not a single reason to.

So with that deciding that perhaps the first time back in the saddle it might be easier on her person, not to mention her mental stability, if she just laid down and allowed Candycane to do all of the work. Sprawled out on her bed, naked, confused, guilty and scared Emma was still. Her body, eventually, beginning to react to the younger woman's ministrations. That only made her feel even worse.

Candycane finally made her way from Emma's throat, to her breasts, and when she was done suckling and licking she continued further down until she had reached the ultimate destination. With the first swipe of her tongue against Emma's clit the blonde jerked upright and bolted right out of the bed.

Emma had burst into tears the moment the woman was gone. It had been a miracle she had lasted that long. As it had taken every ounce of strength she had not to do so beforehand. Emma had paid the woman over twice what she had promised. Then she had half shoved her out of the house before bolting the door and climbing the stairs back up to her bedroom.

Where she had stumbled forward, life drained from her body. Falling into full out crying mode. Entire body shaking violently as she dropped face first into the bed before curling into a ball. Right there, in the middle of her bed, was where she stayed for two whole days. Arms locked around her knees. Pretending to be a lump. She had left her bed only once per day, to grab a single glass of water and relieve herself.

Truth be told Emma would have likely never scraped herself off of her bedsheets period had she the choice to do so. However she had no choice but to forcibly remove herself from her bed and climb into the shower on day three. Which left only an hour before Regina was to drop off her son.

Once out of the shower she went downstairs, put on a mask of indifference and uncaring rather than the turmoil and pain she was truly in. Went to her kitchen and threw in dinosaur nuggets and curly fries into the oven. Throwing some corn on the stove to boil. Her sons favorite meal, and it was easy and uncomplicated which she needed today.

Rhydian, as Emma had thought he would, invited Regina to dinner. She couldn't deny him, so, Emma had allowed it. However, Emma had caught the concerned looks from her ex-wife. She knew she hadn't fooled her. Not after fooling her for so long, no Regina had taken the blinders off and looked at her with a much more critical and honest eye.

Ignoring the looks Emma pushed around the food on her plate. She wasn't hungry, her mind kept wandering back to Candycane. How she couldn't perform. How she had felt like she was betraying Regina, even though they were not longer together. She only half listened to her son, making non-committing noises to his tales of his awesome weekend, his own words not hers.  
Dinner both took a century and was over in a whirlwind. Rhydian begged for a game of candyland before bathtime, where he pleaded with Regina to stay. He took great pleasure in splashing them both as he drowned his army men so he could turn them into zombies. The raised eyebrow and stern glare from the older woman told Emma that Regina fully blamed her for his fascination with the undead.

Following his bath they tucked him in together, he clearly want Regina there, and Emma just could not tell him no. Didn't know if she herself wanted Regina to leave while at the same time wanting her as far gone as possible. They had read him some fairy tales that Regina had corrected every other sentence, and then her precious little boy was asleep. Breathing softly with a content smile all curled up in his batman pajamas.

Regina didn't leave right away like Emma had hoped. No that would make things easier, that would have been lucky. The woman had, of course, insisted on staying to help with the dishes and Emma just couldn't handle Regina today. Especially since winning against her when her mind was made up was trying to win a fight with a giant damn porcupine. Damn near impossible, so, she had given into Regina's demands this time round.

Silence had wrapped around them like an old, familiar, cloak during the first half of the dishes. Just like old times Regina had washed, Emma had rinsed and dried. It would have been a pleasant experience under other circumstances. Unfortunately. Emma was still fighting feelings of guilt, angry at herself, and still just too confused and depressed. She didn't want to deal with any of that. And then Regina had asked her what was wrong, breaking the silence.

At first Emma didn't move, her whole body tensing. Then slowly she had turned to look at the once Evil Queen. Her eyes filled with so much hurt, so much anger, that Regina lost all breath. Before another word could be uttered Emma's hands found purchase at her waist. Yanking her forward into her own body.

The only sound was the small gasp that left Regina's lips, then the footsteps as they walked backwards. Rather, Regina was slightly lifted and pushed back until she was flush against the wall. Before she could protest - or cheer Emma on - the woman's lips were upon her own. The blonde kissed her with everything she had within her.

Right, perfect. It felt like it was just meant to be. As if they were two halves of a puzzle. Which just made Emma feel so utterly wrong. Emma let go of her ex-wife and slid down to her knees. Burying her face into her abdomen. Her hands grabbing the standing woman's legs, locking her into place. Then she just cried.

That was how they stayed for well over an hour. Emma crying into Regina, clutching onto her as if onto life itself. No movement besides the shaking of her shoulders as the sobs racked her entire body. Crying, never stopping. She couldn't, no matter how she wanted to, Emma couldn't stop the flow of tears or let go of the woman pinned to the wall.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. Trump has won. A person known for his hatred of LGBTQ, anyone not white, the disabled, and woman. I am ashamed of my country. I am ashamed of humanity. He is not my president, and I fear for the lives of my loved ones, friends, and all others who are not white privileged, straight, men. Ontop of all of that knowledge, limited to no internet connection, living in a racist/homophobic city (aka trumpville) and several work weeks coming up with forty plus hours. I might miss this fridays deadline. I apologize in advance.

The woman who had been known as the Evil Queen for almost half her life, who was still fighting the use of that title, felt absolutely horrible. Yet, as she held Emma’s shoulders as the blonde’s  entire body shook she couldn’t help to feel even worse than before. She had the decency to hold back her own tears.    
  
Feeling like the worst human to walk any earth she couldn’t help but wonder if what she had done had destroyed not only the slimmest possibility of them getting back together or friendship at the least, but any possibility of happiness period for the obviously broken woman clutching onto her as if she would cease to exist at any given moment. 

 

Time passed slowly as Regina stood there, but eventually Emma fell asleep. Her hand still locked around the older woman’s waist. Her body, mind, and her very soul just too tired from all of that crying her body had shut down.    
  
Even in her sleep she had no true rest, as tears still fell. She still cried, just softer, silently this time. It tore Regina’s heart even further, it felt like Regina herself had ripped her heart out and was crushing it to dust. It was an extreme pain, but, she knew she deserved nothing less. A broken heart was no match for the horrors she had done.    
  
That didn’t mean she didn’t still hold hope, didn’t still want to do anything in her power to show she wasn’t that weak willed woman who had allowed her own insecurities and fears to turn her head. That had allowed a beautiful woman to sweet talk her into bed with lust and sweet words. Therapy and a freezing reality had shown her the mistakes she had made, and why she had made them.    
  
Pulling herself from her own self-anger Regina leaned down and softly kissed the top of Emma’s head. Letting a single tear drip down her cheek before the sorceress transported them both upstairs. Planting Emma in her own bed, and Regina staring down at her. Regina carefully tucked in the woman as she stared at her with longing and sorrow.    
  
Regina wanted nothing more than to crawl in beside Emma and hold her close, but she knew that was not an acceptable thing to do. Knew she would not appreciate such actions. However, she was not ready to leave, especially since she was unsure how Emma would read that act. There were too many variable.    
  
After some thought, and a large internal pros and cons list Regina decided she would stay, but away from the blonde. To give her the space she wanted, without making it seemed she had fled at the first sign of weakness from Emma. She grabbed a pen and tore out a page of paper from a small notepad from her purse before jotting down a note and leaving the room.   
  
Like she had done many a time with Henry, and like she had done the nights Rhydian stayed with her, she checked in on the young boy. Pulling his covers back over his snoozing body, and leaving after a kiss to his forehead. Then she had peeked back in at Emma before climbing into the guest bed. Falling into a restless sleep.    
  


  
_ I did not want you to awake alone, but I also did not want you to think that I was pressuring you or going against your wishes. Or, worse, taking advantage of the situation. That’s not to  _ _ say _ _ I did not wish more then anything to hold you all throughout the night, I desperately did. I wanted to chase away your pain, but that is not what you want, maybe not even what you need. So I will have slept in the spare room. _ _   
_ _   
_ Everything was sort of numb as Emma put down the first note she had found on her nightstand. She let out a deep breath as all of the emotions attacked her at once, making her wish to be back into that numbness that came with just awakening. On one hand she wished that Regina had held her, has chased away her nightmares. That everything could just be like it was before she had known about Ruby.    
  
That couldn’t happen, so, on the other hand she was thankful that Regina hadn’t done that. Had respected her needs, and had left her alone to battle the demons inside of her dreams. Because had she stayed. Had Emma awoken to Regina in her bed. She was unsure she could have let her go. Emma knew she shouldn’t go back to the woman, no matter how  badly  she wanted to.   
  
Groaning Emma picked up the second note, but didn’t open it. Laying back down on her bed and letting out a scream into her pillow as she tried to sort through her emotions. When she rolled over she couldn't help but crack a smile. As Regina had actually scrawled ‘Read this second’ on the outside of the folded note. It was something wholly Regina.    
  
Groaning seemed to become her forte as she stole a glance at the clock, which read it was seventeen past noon. She had to deal with Rhydian, but before that, the note. If she didn’t read it now, she never would. It made her nervous enough to hold it in her hands. With a sigh she opened it, and began to read.    
  
_   
_ _ I know you are freaking out about the time, don’t. I have fed Rhydian breakfast, and am leaving to take him to the Y. He says he has Judo and swim, and I have confirmed it on your calendar in the kitchen. If you are not awake when I return I will wait downstairs and read a novel. Should you sleep past his pick-up time I will leave you a third note. _ _   
_ __   
Emma slapped her own forehead as she jumped to her feet. She had completely spaced out about her sons lessons that day. It was bad enough she thought her five year old had rotted his brain to television and chips while she overslept, but to miss his lessons? Her brain was fried, and she was beyond pissed at herself.    
  
With a huff and an annoyed growl she pulled herself fully out of her bed. She didn’t want to go downstairs, wanted to be a complete child about it all. To stick her fingers in her ears and sing silly nonsense until the entire world stopped. Emma knew as much as she didn’t want to face anything, but knew she  had to . As much as she didn’t want to deal, as much as she wished to go back to sleep and pretend this was all a very, very bad dream.    
  
Reality is the biggest bitch out there. One you couldn’t conquer no matter what you did. So Emma pulled some clean clothes on and slowly made her way down the stairs. Sure enough Regina was right where she said she would be. Legs curled beneath her as she sat in Emma’s favorite recliner. Reading the second Pendragon, Emma’s absolute favorite book series.   
  
Covertly, with great technique, the elder woman raised her eyes just above the edge of the book. Pretending to continue her reading, as if she didn’t notice the blonde. Regina was eying the entire situation as carefully as possible. She didn’t want to spook Emma away, or make her feel like she was pushing her. 

 

The savior had stopped at the bottom of the stairs, staring over at Regina. Amazed by her beauty, by just her existence. After a few minutes she finally moved over to sit on the couch that was opposite of the other woman. Emma’s entire body was rigid, and the sight only caused further injury to Regina’s heart. To keep up appearances she flipped the page without even having read it.    
  
“Did I ever tell you that Rhydian’s middle name was literally about two seconds from being Pendragon?” Vomited itself right out of Emma’s mouth when she simply couldn't take the silence about fifteen minutes later. Minutes where, as far as she knew, Regina was fully concentrated on the book.   
  


“Oh? No you haven’t. Is that so, then, if I may ask, why didn’t you name him Pendragon if that was what you wanted?” Regina chose her words carefully, and slowly worded her question. As horrible as it sounded, she was stalking her prey. Eyes not raising from the book no matter how they wanted to fully look at the beautiful blonde before them.   
  
It was a relief that Emma had started the conversation, and that it was a topic that they wouldn't fight over. Mostly. Rhydian was an amazing child, a boy Regina had loved since she had first laid eyes on him. A boy she was most thankful to know and be a part of his life. Learning things about him always made her happy. Whether it was his favorite dinosaur or his almost name.

“He was, is, my son. My baby. My first son, my firstborn. As I held him. In my hands. I wanted. Well I wanted something like a junior your know? Give someone my name” Emma rubbed over her heart. “My middle name is just a single letter. J. I thought about naming him that, but I always hated that all I got was a single letter.”  
  
That was something Regina had known. It was something that Emma had shared with her, something they had talked at length about. Those memories were good. Cherished. Just them. Laying in bed, hands intertwined, whispering secrets to each other in the dead of night. Regina hoped, one day, they could share secrets again. Even if only as friends.   
  
“So” Continued Emma. “He was my baby, my son, my cub. I his mother. So. Jacob. I thought the name was cute, it sounded right. And it flowed way better with Rhydian then Pendragon had. I could have gone with Jason, but that didn’t seem to fit him. He just seemed like a Rhydian Jacob.” Rambled the blonde nervously. Her hands wringing together.  
  
For several moments Regina was silent as she fully processed the information she was given. Then she put down the book, not caring that it was closed. As she knew where she had truly left off when Emma had come down. Then she looked up, fully, at the woman she loved. Staring at her freely. The blonde fidgeted even more under her gaze.   
  
“Well, as we have previously discussed, you could have, and still can, change your middle name to Jordan, Jacob, or Susan. Anything you want. You could have named him Emmett Rhydian if you were sold on Rhydian. That actually has a rather nice ring to it” Since Emma had chosen this topic Regina was hopeful that it was a safe route for her to continue on. __  
  
“I. Well. Reg. I didn’t think of that, almost wish I had. But. Anyway. Look. I. Uh. Me. I work. At three. I-if y-y-you want I can t-tell the daycare you can have him today” Stuttered out the awkward woman as she stared at anything, and everything, but the magnificent dark haired beauty in front of her.  
  
“That sounds delightful, I will absolutely love that. Thank you Emma. If that’s the case why don’t I just drive you into work? Then Rhydian and I can come back after your shift to get you. Then perhaps I can take you both out to that deplorable arcade with the heavily questionable pizza you both insist on loving so much” The mere thought of Regina inside of Game Emporium's made Emma smile.   
  
Conflicting emotions were warring inside of the gut of the once evil queen. Not even Emma’s smile helped. On one hand she was pleased with short circuiting the blonde. It had always made her feel special when she got to see Emma nervous. All flustered and confused. It was a rare sight.  
  
However, on the other hand she felt bad. Knowing that this wasn’t the good short circuiting. The kind where she had embarrassed the blonde, confused her, or talked all sexual in front of her family or friends. No this was the bad type of short circuiting. She had startled her, and the blonde wasn’t ready, or willing, to deal with the onslaught of emotions caused by such things.   
  
“Uhm. You know. Uh. S-sure. I. I. I. Sh-shower. And. yeah. Yeah. Leave in. Like. Fifteen” The blonde managed to push the words out of her mouth. Slow and choppy. Once the words were out she gave herself a firm nod, silently congratulating herself on her success, and then she bolted from the room like a deer from a hunter.   
  
  


  
In some ways one little trip to the arcade had changed it all. For the next few months life moved on. It was true that Emma remained withdrawn from Regina, but, she did allow her son to spend most of his weekends with the other woman. They were polite to each other, and the blonde was slowly becoming more comfortable watching her leave.    
  
Routine settled into their lives. Every wednesday Regina would pick up Rhydian from his swim class. They’d eat lunch together, waving to his mother who would be just arriving, as she ran the eight miles to work. Then at six, right on the dot, Regina would pick Emma up, and they’d head out to the Game Emporium for ‘questionable’ pizza and arcade games.   
  
They all loved, and eagerly awaited, Wednesday nights. Rhydian loved the games, the food, and seeing the lady he wanted to be his Mommy interact with his Momma. Though he was smart enough to know better than to voice that yet. Regina loved it because Emma always seemed so happy playing video games, with or without her son.   
  
Regina constantly wondered how she ended up with such an overgrown child for a true love, but every Emma won a game her face would light up and Regina couldn’t help but smile too. She loved the talks they’d have as Rhydian was on the gigantic warehouse sized big toy. The one Emma would lace her fingers through Regina’s to drag her into. It was a short handholding, but Regina loved every second.    
  
Lastly, Emma loved Wednesdays because she loved, as much as she knew she shouldn’t, being close to Regina. Even if being that close hurt her, even if it made her entirely too confused. But like clockwork. She didn’t want to break the routine. She loved Rhydian happy, loved Regina happy. Even if it made her happy while also killing her ever so slowly. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. I hope everyone had a good thanksgiving, or just a good weekend if you live elsewhere or don't celebrate. Sorry this is so late, the next one might be a week late as well. Still trying to get my muse back. When I had this in a place where i was willing to post I didn't tempt fate by getting my friend to check it over, just posted it.

"Emma. I really hate to say this, I truly think that your therapist is right" Lucy spoke as she slid a sandwich in front of her friend. Knowing the best way to break anything to the blonde was to appease her ever hungry stomach. "What you need to do is face your old town, your parents. I believe you just need to face that town. Your parents. So you can move past it all"

While Emma wanted to a complete child. To kick, scream and whine about her friends opinion. However their was a delicious salami, provolone, swiss, muenster and garlic sandwich in front of her face. Alright, at that point, in her face. So instead she contemplated her words as she shoveled the massive mess into stomach.

Not that she would ever admit it out loud, but two days after she had kissed her ex-wife, and subsequently fell asleep crying while clutching onto her person, Emma had begun to see a therapist. As much as she detested the thought, it was honestly the best thing she could do. She knew she couldn't talk to anyone else, and she didn't want to just dump everything onto Lucy all of time.

Which was how she had ended up back in the little town she had vowed never to step a single foot in while still alive, or even skeletal. Lucy and her therapist had convinced her she needed closure to move on. To get past the love that still burned on deep inside of her soul for her ex-wife, so she had come back.

"I. This. I only agreed to a small, keyword, small barbeque. Just" She used air quotes on the next word "family" Emma spoke with wide eyes and a swinging jaw. Betrayal, anger, and a slew of other not so good emotions swirling in her gaze.

Her parents had converted the park's vast open fields into a gigantic, whole town sized, welcome home party. As if she were staying, as if this was the sort of thing she would like. it wasn't she hated it. And they knew that, but they had never cared what she wanted. The not so charming couple knew absolutely nothing important about their daughter, and cared about none of her wants.

Once she had been able to see, as Carter had been on her shoulders. Hands over her eyes. Snow had demanded that she not see the setup, right then Emma should have known but she had fought back the fear and suspicion gliding up her throat at the woman's words. Should have known her mother truly didn't care at all.

So the kids had loaded up on her. Carter claiming her shoulders, Rhydian had jumped onto her back. Arms tightly around her neck and one leg wrapped around the right side of her body. As Paris had claimed her left hip. Face buried in her chest, as Rhydian's was in her neck. Leaving Lucy to glare at Regina, who had her arms crossed and who was glaring right back.

"Why, honey is it just family" Snow stated cheerfully. Pretending she hadn't seen the air quotes. With how blind she was to Emma's emotions and feelings she probably really hadn't. "The whole town is just one big family" Then she scowled. "Who is she?" Lucy turned her glare to the older woman.

The woman who was Emma's mother had previously never laid eyes on Lucy, but Lucy had seen her picture. Regina had showed her. They had been alone in the second car, as all the kids had enough of their constant bickering, as neither had been allowed to be alone with Emma. So, they'd rented a second car halfway through the trip. The kids in Emma's SUV, the two women in the taurus. It had been a semi-tense trip.

"Oh. This is Lucy. Lucy. This is Snow. The woman who claims to be my mother" Snow glared at her daughter, before returning her glare to this new woman who she saw as a threat. "And these two munchkins are Carter and Paris" Emma's answer was robotic. She had shut down for a few moments to fight back the urge to strangle her mother.

As the minutes ticked by Emma tried harder, and harder to just so of disappear. She wanted nothing more than to grab her son, grab her friends children, toss them all in the car and hit the pedal so far into the floor of the car it popped out the other side. Being here was far, far, from where she wanted to be.

The only thoughts the savior was having besides running off and escaping the hell that was the barbeque welcome home party was strangling her dumbass birth parents, kissing Regina, and wondering how in the hell she'd ever allowed anyone, even her friend, to convince her that this was even in the same realm of a good idea.

"Emma, uhm, look, could we. I would like a few minutes alone with you, I'd like to talk. Privately." This had, surprisingly, fallen from the wolf's lips. Her eyes darting to look at both Regina and Lucy, who were standing on either side of the blonde. After a moment, against her better judgement, Emma nodded.

Together, but still several feet apart, they walked over to an abandoned table as to not be overheard. Even before RUby had opened her mouth and let out a single syllable Emma had already been filled with anger. She had decided not to act on it, to work through it internally. Decided to listen, to respond only if absolutely necessary, to try and make it out of this shit packed day without any bloodshed, fights, or otherwise violent happenings.

Five torturous minutes passed, five minutes that felt to the blonde like she'd been chained to a wall and was having her skin peeled off with a cheese slicer, over, and over again. Five minutes that, truthfully, felt like an eternity. Where her blood boiled inside of her body, so hot that she was surprised that steam wasn't coming out of her ears like she was in some classic cartoon.

That time was eaten up with nothing but lies. Filled with fake apologies that would ring false to a deaf, and blind, person. The whole time Emma had not been allowed to say a word, the older woman talking on and on. Not stopping to breath.

Ruby's entire goal to try and get Emma to understand just how much Ruby truly loved Regina. The only thing that even remotely rang true was that Ruby believed she was in love with the once evil queen, and after what seemed like the millionth fake apology she couldn't listen for a single moment longer.

The world itself seemed to become deathly still as Emma grabbed the woman's head and yanked it down as she simultaneously brought her knee up. Slamming it with as much force as she had into Ruby's face. However she didn't let go of the woman, simply tumbled down on top of her. Throwing punches wildly, yet, they all landed in the wolf's face. That was how they came to be in a full out fight.

Not that they had the time, or presence, to notice, but almost everyone was crowded around them in a giant circle with a single minute. Not that either would have cared about their audience if they had in fact noticed. Leaving plenty of room for them to roll around and attack each other. Growls and curses escaping both sets of lips as blood splattered and bones protested.

"Lucy, M- er. Regina. I'll just take these guys over to the slides, away from this" Henry assured the two woman as he gathered up the sort of twins into his arms. "Rhydian, now" He knew that they would listen, he was a good kid. He indeed followed obediently, but, sluggishly, as the two others struggled before going limp when they finally realized they had no choice.

The crowd was screaming, and one man had some sort of giant ego problem as he had been stupid enough to enter the ring to try and get the two women to separate. All he had managed to do was be pulled into the ever rolling mess that was the two women to be spat out less than two minutes later with a darkening eye, a broken wrist, and suspected broken ribs.

"Never has she even had a temper" There was a slight bit of fear, and arousal, in Lucy's tone as her eyes stared at the scene before her. "Who on earth is that woman? Why would Emma snap like this, this is nothing like the woman I lo-know"

Wincing at her almost word choice Regina glanced at the woman who was now looking at her. Her throat dried completely. She didn't want to tell her, didn't want this to be happening at all. What she wanted couldn't be done. There was no way to go back in time and stop this from happening. So she swallowed her pride.

"This is nothing like the Emma I love, that I know. This is the Emma that has been cornered by Ruby. After all this time, the dam has broken. And I don't know what to do" Regina admitted. The words like sandpaper in her throat. Lucy let out a little gasp, clearly surprised about Ruby.

Not long after that Emma managed to pin the wolf beneath her own body. Ruby's arms were locked to her sides by Emma's powerful knees. One of Emma's hands were on her left shoulder, locking her torso to the ground. Blood was straining far more than clothing, and both were breathing heavy.

"I loved her more" Shouted Emma, the past tense form of the word crushing Regina's heart. This was the first time Emma had spoken a single word to Ruby since leaving town. Her anger was tainting every cell of her body. "Regina was my everything, and you destroyed that. Annihilated me. From the inside out. I was your friend, your best friend, and you didn't give a single fucking shit about me"

"She was always meant to be mine, she should be mine! MINE you hear!?" Growled out Ruby menacingly, and Emma slammed her fist as hard as she could into the woman's already busted up face. The cracking of bone could be heard upon impact. Emma repeated the action a second time.

"I will tell you this only once Ruby Red Lucas. Only one of us is human, or anything close to. Because had you been me, and I had been you, nothing, and nothing would have EVER allowed me to make a single move on Regina until she'd left you" With that said Emma wrapped her fingers around the woman's throat.

Fully intent on crushing the very life around the woman who'd destroyed her. Blinded by the rage inside, ignoring the pain that she had been unable to leave behind. The anger that had been bottled deep inside of her was loose. Emma knew she was acting like a monster, but as Ruby struggled to breath. As her eyes began to gloss over. Well she just couldn't bring herself to care about ending her life.

"Does that woman h-have a crossbow?" Squeaked out Lucy as an elderly woman she hadn't been introduced yet entered the wide circle with a hefty, ancient, looking weapon. "What's she gonna do!?"

"That's more than enough you two. If you don't put at least four steps between you this very instant I'll put a bolt in both of ya, and I won't feel no guilt about it neither" Granny said sternly. Aiming at Emma's arm. She didn't want to kill, maim sure, kill no.

There could have been an orgy going on behind her, there could have been an army of guns pointed at her and Emma could have cared less. So she did not let go, clearly lost to her anger. Eyes that had gone more feral, the kind of eyes that could have made Grannies own demented daughter put her tail between her legs and run.

"She's not joking, she really will shoot!" Regina said fearfully as she grabbed onto her rival's hand and tugged her into the center of the circle. Granny looked at her, raising a brow in warning. "And she'll shoot us too! We we have to get Emma off of Ruby, NOW"

Without thought Lucy followed Regina's orders. Grabbing on of Emma's arms, as Regina grabbed the other. Even with their combined strength they couldn't get her off of Ruby, and the wolf was close to death. You could see their was little fight left to be had just by her posture alone.

"Em, please, let go. Think of Rhydian, who will take care of him if you kill her?" Despite the situation Lucy was able to use a soothing, calming voice. "Just let her go. What will happen if you go to jail? If you die? Please, think of your baby boy"

Regardless of the fact it had been Lucy who had spoken those words the blonde looked to her ex-wife first. Eye softening, the rage depleting, but only she looked at Lucy, her hands loosening just a little. Then, as her eyes met Ruby's she finally let go of the wolf. Now that she wasn't attached anymore the two women pulled Emma off of her completely.

At first they'd dragged Emma on her knees awkwardly. Then the blonde jumped to her feet, and stormed several feet away. Staying on the outskirts of the inner circle, sending murderous glances at Ruby. She made sure to steer clear of all four people inside with her. The wolf who was breathing heavy, the elderly woman who was still ready to shoot any who moved wrong. The woman who loved her, and the ex-wife who'd helped destroy her.

"This was a mistake" Dripped like snake's venom from her lips. "I should have never, never come back. I should have never subjected my son to this horrendous place. There is absolutely nothing for me, nothing but pain and anger. An anger, a rage that scared me. That I fear I can not control"

Like Moses and the red sea the people parted as Emma walked away. Not looking back, bleeding hands formed into fists. Anger, rage, and pain exuding from her like a bad stench. No one made a move to go after her, not a soul. Nor did anyone care enough to even contemplate helping the woman who had nearly been killed in the fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will do my best to update as soon as I can, but no garuntee can be made that I'll have it by friday like I am supposed to. As always please leave your thoughts.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. This hasn't been looked over by anyone but me, and I legit just finished it before posting it. Hope you enjoy.

Although they had both greatly disliked the idea Lucy and Emma had allowed the three little ones to stay at Regina’s for the night. As they had known that Emma was far to angry to be around them. Not to mention too angry in general, she had basically allowed Lucy to take point as she had fumed several feet away before she’d gotten into her car. Knowing if she didn’t lock herself inside she’d finish strangling the damn wolf.    
  
Nothing slipped past her lips for several more hours, for fear of what would come out. The duo had returned to their quarters at the bed and breakfast. Emma had sat on the couch. Staring at the blank television. Back ramrod straight. Hands clutching her knees, just steeping. Anger and pain coursing through her in ways she hadn’t thought possible anymore.    
  
“Do you. Em. Do you still love her?” Broke the silence, Lucy had asked so quietly it had nearly been a whisper. Yet. Her words rang loud as she sat down onto the couch. Next to Emma, looking at the blonde who refused to tear her gaze away from the screen. Seconds that felt like an eternity passed.    
  
Silence once more enveloped them. Both woman knew that they knew the answer already. Emma didn’t want to admit it to herself, let alone aloud. Lucy, she just needed to hear it. To hear Emma say it. It would hurt, it already hurt, but she knew if she were ever to move on from the blonde. She’d need to hear it. At least once. 

 

“There is nothing I can do to stop it, I just. Can’t help it” Admitted Emma finally. “You have to know that. I can’t stop, if I could. I would have a long time ago. There will never come a time where I can move back the feelings that still haunt me” Lucy’s clenched her eyes shut for a moment, letting the pain wash of the admission wash over her.    
  
  
Across town in Regina’s mansion a group of people were watching their interactions. Watching everything that was going on. Before they had arrived Granny had, reluctantly, allowed Mulan to set up a few hidden cameras in their room. Belle was toggling through the screens to get the best view and sound, which was aided by the magical components added to the cameras themselves.    
  
“I don’t know, this doesn’t feel right. Should we really be watching this?” David asked. “I believe it should just me me and Snow. We are her parents” While everyone had not liked this plan, they had felt it was needed. Now. After the BBQ, it seemed even more likely that this was the only way to get true answers.    
  
The glares he received from every person save his wife shut him up rather quickly, as while he truly believed he was better then them in all ways, he knew they could kick his ass. He, like his wife, was none too bright, but Regina, Mulan, and granny glaring at him with murderous intent when already riled up by the day's events made him cringe and take a few steps back. Not wanting to incur there wrath.    
  
“Kiss me” Emma’s head snapped to the side to look at her friend, blinking in surprise. Much like the spies did. Emma wasn’t sure what she had just heard. “Kiss me” With that the savior knew she had heard what she thought. Sadness filled her as she sighed.    
  
“I can not love you in that way Luce, not like you deserve to be loved. You are my best friend, and I do love you. I can’t imagine you not being a part of my life. I love your children. But I am not in love with you. I won’t ever be able to love you in the way you want me to.” Her words were honest, but still cut through Lucy’s heart like a knife.    
  
Once more silence took over, filling the air for a few minutes. The words sinking deep inside of both parties. Then Lucy stood up and turned to face Emma. Swiftly plopping down, a knee on either side of Emma’s legs. Wrapping her arms around the woman’s neck. PRessing their foreheads together, her ass on the blonde's legs.    
  
“I know, I know you can’t love me like that. As much as I didn’t want to admit. I knew it all along. I hoped, I won’t deny that. But I know. I know okay? But. Right now. Just kiss me. Please. I know it doesn’t mean anything important. Just. Kiss me Emma” In the end, it was a demand and a plea all in one.   
  
As if on autopilot Emma’s hands came to rest on the woman’s hips. Her eyes drilling deep into Lucy’s. Then she what the woman was begging for, she kissed her. Their lips meeting softly. Slowly. Causing everyone watching to cringe. Tears coming to the once evil queen’s eyes. David stuck out his tongue in disgust, watching his child make out with someone was not something he needed to see, regardless of age.    
  
“I. I just can’t. It just feels completely wrong, like I am cheating on her” Whispered Emma sadly as she pulled away. Making Regina want to fist pump in victory while simultaneously wanting to collapse into a ball and cry. The warring emotions she had were driving her insane, just as Emma’s were making her crazy.    
  
“Don’t think Em, just do. Don’t allow your brain, heart, don’t let anything interfere. Alright? You haven’t been with anyone since her, so. Calm down, relax, and let your body take over. See where this can go” With that the woman was kissing Regina’s true love once more.    
  
It was clear that Emma was trying to do as told, kissing Lucy back. They continued to kiss, the savior's hands holding onto the woman’s hips in a vice grip. Lucy’s hand on the back of the couch as the kiss deepened slowly. Five long minutes passed as they made out, not knowing about the audience watching at the mansion .   
  
Then it was over. As all too soon, for both women on the couch, Emma had pulled away and just began to cry. Her body shaking as she clutched onto Lucy. Pressing her head firmly into her friend's stomach. Lucy rested her head on top of Emma’s and rubbed her back. Whispering that everything was going to be okay, that didn’t stop Emma from sobbing.   
  
‘Why can’t I Luce? I don’t work, fuck. I wish. I wish on every star. That I. That I just didn’t love her anymore. That I could move on. I can’t even fucking kiss someone, let alone do anything beyond without thinking I should be hung for my actions” Sniffled out the generally strong woman.    
  
“It’s going to be okay, I promise. Emma. You just need more time, you can get over her” She was doing her best to reassure her friend, but Emma just clutched her harder. Shaking her head against Lucy’s stomach. “I wish I could tell you how to do it, but I don’t know what will work for you. All i know is one day. You will move on. You just have to keep faith in yourself” All Lucy could do was hope her words would get to her friend.    
  
“I don’t think I ever cna” Emma whimpered against her. “The best I can do. It just. Rip my boy and run. So far she can never find me. That means abandoning Henry. That means new identities. A different country maybe. But Rhydian would miss her. He loves her, but I can’t leave him.”   
  
The thought of never seeing Emma again made Regina hurt to her very core. Especially since it was all her fault. It hurt the woman to know that this was how much she had destroyed the woman who she had been destined for. The once evil queen could only wonder if there was truly anything she could ever do that would allow her to earn Emma back. To be worthy of her trust, and her love.    
  
“I hate the very idea, because I know you deserve better. But. Regina. You know how much she wants you back. Everyone does. Will you? Emma, will you go back to her in the end?” Lucy asked. Her question causing Regina to literally stop breathing as she awaited the answer.    
  
“Lucy. I. I don’t think I would survive that. I can’t. I can’t survive going back to her. Can’t survive finding her with someone else. After everything. I think my only chance of living, existing, is to stay as I am now or run far away” Admitted Emma.    
  
Regina stepped backwards under she fell back into the couch. Covering her face with her hands. Determined not to cry in front of these people, or anyone. Determined to one day win her true love back. To one day be worthy. Wishing, more than ever before, that she could go back in time. To change what she had done. To kill her old self if necessary to save the woman she loved from this pain.    
  
  
  
“Do you forgive Regina for what she’s done? It had taken Lucy a long time to let go and forgive her own ex-wife. In the end she had, and she never been happier. But she had also realized that they hadn’t truly loved each other. Emma pulled away and looked at her. Shaking her head.    
  
“You still don’t understand, there is absolutely nothing to forgive. I am the one who will never be enough for someone. The only person I have ever been enough for is my precious boy. And one day. Rhydian will marry and have kids of his own, and I’ll be left alone. It’s the way it was meant to be.” 

  
  
Only two people privy to the heartbreaking conversation, knowingly or not, were unaffected by the savior’s words. Her so called parents. The people who thought she should worship them and their needs. To give them whatever they demanded. The two people who believed they were better than everyone else. Snow White and her fake Prince.   
  
“You are enough, Emma you are more than enough” Lucy said angrily. “Even if you would never touch me, never kiss me, never love me, I would gladly stand at your side given the chance. I may not be your one, but someone out there is. They are out there. So use me if that is what you need to do. Or use someone else. You are worth so much more than you tink you are”   
  
In a move that had Lucy startled and letting out a surprised yelp Emma had switched their positions so that Emma was on top. Her body on top of Lucy’s. Pinning her down onto the couch with all her strength. The woman’s shirt halfway unbuttoned. Two pairs of lips getting bruised from the ferocity of the kissing before Emma snapped out of her and climbed off of the other woman. Apologizing profusely.    
  
Before she had a chance to finish her apologies for her behavior the door to the room was being thrown open with an ear shattering thud. Lucy screamed while Emma balled her fists. Standing before them, in the doorway, was none other than the Wolf. The very woman Emma had been rolling around in dirt and blood a few hours before. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. With the holidays coming up and such I probably won't be able to post until January. Sorry for the cliffhanger. Happy Holidays, and as always, please let me know your thoughts.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For once I was early? As I was not supposed to post until the holidays were over. Sorry this chapter just finally met together in the way I saw in the beginning, so I figured I had to post before I second guessed myself. I hate giving warnings as I feel it takes from the story, but I understand giving them so just in case it warrants one. Non-happy sex will be ahead. No one checked over this for me ( I didn't ask. Just posted. Totally my bad ).

It was clear as day the the woman before her was no ordinary wolf, no Ruby was an enraged beast ready to kill. Though, only Emma knew the true extent of this. To the outsider the woman just looked like your run of the mill crazy ass angry mother fucker. The blonde knew better, she knew what damage could be done. The sort of risks, and Emma wanted to murder Ruby as much as Ruby wanted to slaughter her.

"SHIT! This isn't fucking good" Mulan said loudly as she grimaced, smacking her palm to her forehead before jumping from her seat as everyone else winced. Everyone knew this would, undoubtedly, end very badly. While their savior was no wolf she sure in the hell could claim it's temper.

"Lucy, listen to me very carefully. This should be a private affair. Would you do me a favor, please go to the diner and get something to eat. Then go ahead and check on the kids or take a walk. Then if you wanted to swing back and grab me a burger, by then, this should be taken care of. I'll handle this" Surprisingly Emma had been able to keep her voice completely calm.

Silently the wolf had stared, her eyes feral. Fists clenched tightly. Her eyes boring into her prey. She allowed the other two women to speak uninterrupted. Lucy, of course, protesting. But everyone had known it was of no use. Everyone knew it from the first moment, Lucy would cave to Emma's needs. Especially after everything that had happened that night. So, the outsider left. Closing the door behind her.

Thirty second passed after the door was closed before they two women pounced. Screaming at each other, battling verbally as they got so close that they were very nearly touching. Their words were brutal and angry. Filled with anger, hurt, and fear. Chosen subconsciously to eviscerate the other. There was clearly no love left between the duo, just pure loathing.

"We need to stop this, we shouldn't have even been watching! We should have been actively keeping them apart! God I am an idiot, how could I let all of this happen?" Growled out Regina. Her eyes wide. There was no blood, at least not yet, but it was clear to see that no one could deny that they could see where this was headed. A crime scene.

"No. Maybe they just need to duke it out, we wait!" Snow commanded. "For now we wait. True love can beat anything, but right now, they might just need to work out their aggression so everyone can move on from this fiasco"

Almost immediately after Snow had spoken Ruby had grabbed hold of her verbal sparring partner and slammed her against the wall with everything she had in her. Upon impact a sickening thwack had emitted from the blonde. The air had been knocked right out of her lungs, and after a swing of Ruby's fist blood was dribbling down from a cut above her eye.

Of course the savior wasn't about to just stand their and take is so everyone watched in silent horror as she yanked a hand free and literally scratched, ruthlessly, at Ruby's neck. Like a lion's strike. Leaving behind four jagged, bleeding, gashes upon the wolf's neck. As Ruby stumbled back, surprised, Emma kneed her in the stomach.

The two continued to all out fight. Kicking, punching, scratching, head butting. Throwing. Then Ruby got her opponent back against the ball, doing something that shocked everyone. Including Emma. Rather than bite, kick, punch or knee the blonde she pressed their lips together. It was a hungry, feral, kiss. Needy and demanding. At first Emma had been in an angry shock, but then she had begun to respond to it.

"Holy. Fucking. Shit" Muttered the bookworm as she blinked. Wondering if she was actually seeing what she believed she was seeing. All but one person had whipped their heads to look at her in pure disbelief before turning back to the screen. Even Belle cussing wasn't as odd as what was happening before them.

Not willing to be dominated by a woman she really, truly, could not stand Emma dug her nails into Ruby's hips and lifted her from the ground and flipped them around. Successfully pinning the wolf against the wall. Then she raked her nails up her sides, slicing into the flesh. Biting at the woman's lips as she continued to kiss with so much strength that it hurt both parties.

Sadly Regina had believed that she could never see something worse than her true love kissing, and possible fucking, that Lucy woman. She was now being proved horribly wrong as she stared open mouthed at the screen. At the angry hate filled shit that was going on between the woman she had cheated on and the woman she had cheated with.

Much like Emma the wolf didn't want to be topped. So she shoved the blonde off of her every ounce of her strength. Startling the blonde. Causing Emma to skid backwards across the floor on her ass. Ruby advanced on her prey quickly, but Emma had recovered and gotten to her feet almost immediately. Charging the woman, grabbing her around the middle and knocking her to the floor.

Trapping her underneath her own body before swiftly pinning Ruby's hands above her head and slamming her knee into Ruby's center. It was Ruby herself who had raised her head to capture Emma's lips, as she raised her body to press it harder against Emma's. After a few more minutes Ruby was able to get her hands free. Using one hand to grab the blonde's head to hold her further against her, while she used the other to begin tearing the clothes off of the both of them.

"We won't bow to your will anymore Snow" Spat Regina. Growling as she pointed at the screen. "We must stop that, like right now. We must end this. Immediately" The way she spat her words were more poisonous than any apple she had ever given. .

"I am sorry to inform you Dearie, but I have been trying to get in since Belle texted me that Red had showed up. The room is magically sealed. Even Tink and I combining our magics didn't do anything. We can't crack through Emma's magic." Rumple had stated after the duo had appeared in smoke, and shimmery lights respectively.

All Regina could do was stare at them. She knew her magic wasn't nearly as strong as theirs combined, and, really. If it was Emma who had done this. She knew it was unlikely that even the three of them together could get through. She tried to come up with something, anything. Her mind racing, much like the other magical practitioners. However, none could come up with anything.

"Shit! That's not healthy! It's sick! Ruby's totally bleeding right into Emma's mouth from the bites my kids giving her! This is just. So wrong. Disgusting" Groaned out David as he peeked through his fingers at the screen. This was far from what he had been expecting to see when they'd come up with this plan.

"No! That's not good, not at all, just the blood in her mouth could be enough to turn her!" Granny actually looked frightened by this possibility. She placed her hand over her mouth and shook her head. "We don't know how turning in this world works, it could kill Emma, or trap her in wolf form come moons time!"

Nobody had any sort of response as that information set in. The last of the clothes came off a few seconds later as Granny and Regina herded everyone out of the room. It was bad enough that they would be watching Emma and Ruby's private breakdown sexcapades, there was no way they were about to allow anyone else to see it get that far.

Softness did not play a part in a single touch. Each one was meant to cause a complex mixture of pain and pleasure. Before too long was experiencing a powerful orgasm as she continually slammed four fingers as deep within the wolf as she could get them, as Ruby bit and licked at Emma's own opening.

  
Having reached that peak Emma had pulled away, rolling a few feet away before attempting to stand up. Her brain trying to catch up with what happened, and her own emotions. Ruby was going to have none of that. She jumped on wobbly legs and grabbed onto Emma. Pulling her against her. The blonde saw this as another challenge and slammed her down onto the bed.

"You fuck me hard Swan. Fuck me like you mean it, like you hate me" Growled the wolf as Emma crawled onto the bed. Brain completely forgotten as she was once more pulling into a lust and anger filled crazy. "Regina told me all about how she'd magic you a c ock. Told me all about it as we fucked."

The mention of her ex-wife only fueled Emma's anger. Her heart had long since taken a break, a back-burner to this event. So far away it might as well have been in Tahiti sipping pinacoladas in the fucking rain. Emma ripped the woman's legs apart, and came to knee in front of her. Glaring down at the woman panting, soaked, and ready for her. Blood and bite marks marring her skin.

With an animalistic growl and a flash of her teeth Emma waved her hand over her crotch and a rather large penis took place of her normal genitalia. It only made Ruby rock her hips, needing it inside of her. Emma was rock hard and ready for action. Ruby wanted it, bad. Needed it even.

"I am going to fucking destroy you, you fucking cunt whore" It wasn't a warning. It wasn't even a threat. Emma's words were a promise. There was no need for any sort of lube. She spit into her hand and rubbed it up and down the shaft of her newfound dick slowly. Ruby was practically begging for it to be inside of her.

"Wait, Wait! You are aiming for the wrong- FUCK!" Screamed out Ruby as she drew blood on Emma's forearms from her grip. The blonde had given her nearly no warning before slamming her cock balls deep into her asshole.

Tears gathered in the wolf's eyes as Emma slammed inside of her over and over again, but the pain was pleasure. Ruby was screaming and begging for Emma to fuck her even harder. Emma complied easily, not only continuing her assault but going faster and harder than anyone had thought possible. When Ruby didn't think it could possible get any more painful, or pleasurable, she was proven wrong.

Now, Ruby had tried a lot of kinky shit. However she had never participated in any sort of choking. But as Emma's right hand wrapped around her throat as she somehow managed to go even deeper inside of her. Well it was one of most brilliant, painful, scary and amazing things to ever happen during sex. Ruby came just before she was moments from passing out. Emma had let go right before the blackness could claim the wolf.

Slipping out of the woman's asshole Ruby let out a whimper of loss, that was quickly replaced with another moan of immense pleasure as Emma filled her. Where she had wanted her in the first fucking place. Hitting her in places she had never been hit before, it felt like Emma's dick was stretching her very fucking woman. Then Emma replaced her fingers around RUby's sore neck.

"Give me one fucking good reason I shouldn't just kill you right now. I could do it. I could keep you from breathing as I finish fucking your worthless cunt. I could cum inside of you as you take your final fucking breath. Why shouldn't I?" Emma seethed darkly as her fingers tightened around Ruby's neck.

"Because your sons could never look at you the same. Should they ever find out what their precious mommy had done. You are no killer" It had been a great struggle to get the words past Emma's hold, but ruby had done it. "Now fuck me"

Growling Emma let go of Ruby and flipped her around. Re-entering her from behind. She pulled Ruby against her body, and used one hand to hold her stomach so she was pushed firmly against Emma, while she used the other to choke hold her as she fucked her as deep as she could. Leaning back so every time she nearly pulled all the way out her ass would hit her feet.

Sweat dripped down both of their bodies. The droplets mixing with blood as it dripped down their bodies. All of it intermingling as they continued to fuck. Moaning and screams seemed to echo in the walls. Then Ruby came, the walls of her vagina clenched even tighter around Emma's cock. It was then that Emma bit into Ruby's neck. Biting so deeply that blood entered her mouth and she knew that it would scar forever.

That was when Emma came for the second time that night. This one was ten times more powerful than the first. The seed the spell afforded her splashing inside of Ruby with such force she began to scream and cum again. Emma had never even been allowed to cum inside her wife, and she found, she quite liked the feeling.

Emma let go of Ruby, who just crashed down against the bed. Barely able to move after the fucking she'd just been given. Emma's heart and mind decided to come back, and she jumped off the bed. Revoking the spell, causing her now limp dick to disappear. Then she just stared down at the bloody and bruised woman on her bed. A wolf who was going to need stitches in several places. All the blankets and sheet that were stained. At the mess she had made.

"Get the fuck out of here Ruby, and don't you ever, ever fucking try to talk to me again. Don't ever so much as speak to me. Don't look at me. Stay away from everything that's mine. Understood? My children, my wife, my friends. Don't ever fucking provoke me or next time. I'll fucking kill you, and not give a flying shit" Warned Emma. And Ruby believed her.

Feeling in her very bones that Emma was deadly serious Ruby could only nod obediently as she crawled off the bed. Barely able to walk and wincing in pain as she wrapped the sheet around her. Leaving behind her clothes as Emma literally pushed her out of the door to her room. Emma slammed it the moment Ruby was out. Then Emma conjured a fresh, non-bloody, blanket and wrapped herself in it before sliding to the floor. Her back pressed firmly against the door.

"What on earth have I done? What have I become? Who am I?" Emma whispered aloud as she clenched her eyes shut and hid her face in her hands. "Why did all of this happen?" Still unaware that everything had transpired that night had been watched by at least two people

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I likely will not post again until after the holidays are over, unless like this time the bug hits me. This is where I originally felt like ending the story. (this was preplanned). However, I enjoy the story. (not some of the hate but whatever no skin off my nose lmao). And I know where I am going next with it so I will be continuing on this journey. I'd say we have a good ten chapters or so left, but that could change as I have absolutely nothing but bullet points written for any of the next chapters. So basically, I know what's gonna happen, but not how yet. I hope everyone has a great holiday or vacation and please leave your thoughts before you go


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things that happened over break. One. My laptop died. Two. My phone died. Three. I lost internet because apparently the company that provides said service would like to be paid. So. Overall. I fail at being adult. That said. I still have no laptop. My phone is from the dark ages, it only does calling it has a number pad for texting. I mean seriously. And, the library won't let me use their computers until I pay them. So I am living at the mercy of my friends right now when it comes to internet. I do not know how long that will last, so I am legit writing with pen and paper and typing up what I can when I have a few glorious moments of what I call civilization. AKA. Internet. All mistakes are mine, and this isn't as looked over/reworded as I would like. But. Well. Given the whole pen and paper thing. It'll do for now.

“Em? Emma? What’s in front of the door?” Receiving no answer she shoved it open with all her strength. Causing the blonde to shoot upwards to try and get out of the way. The door caught her ass on the last shoved. This landed her face first, ass up, groaning in renewed pain as the door finally sprung open.   
  
“Fucking hell” Whined Emma. Not moving. She had fallen asleep, and before her brain could register that someone was trying to get in, and that someone was Lucy. She hadn’t been able to make coherent sounds through the blanket, and then wham. Floor sandwich.   
  
“Are you alright?” Lucy asked in worry as she stared down at the groaning savior. Ass still high up in the air, barely covered by the blanket. “What on the earth? There is so much blood, what is with this damage?”  
  
All the woman could do was stare in complete and utter horror around the room. It truly appeared like three tornados had come to fight in the room, as if it was a fucking arena. Blood, broken glass, and a slew of broken furniture were all around the room. She doubted Emma had the money to fix the flat screen, let alone the entire room. A whole section of drywall was missing!  
  
“I’m fine, it’ll all be fine” Emma sighed out as she stood up, slowly. Now fully awake and able to speak easier. Wincing as her bones protested the moment. The blanket slipping enough for Lucy to know she was, indeed, naked underneath.   
  
  
“You are naked” Lucy blurted out. Confusion on her features. Emma sighed, wrapping the blanket back around her before ripping the last of the sheet still clinging to the bed and throwing it to the floor. Lucy watched as Emma grabbed another blanket placing it on the bed. SIlently climbing on and sitting up against the headboard. “You fought her, naked?”  
  
“I didn’t just fight her. I fucked her.” Point blank. No beating around the bush. Just a quick double punch to Lucy’s gut. Color drained from the other woman’s face at Emma’s admission. “I haven’t lied to you before, so I won’t now”  
  
It felt like her ex wife all over again, even though Lucy knew she had no claim to the woman before her. All Emma had ever agreed to being was her best friend, nothing more. Still. All Lucy could do was stare at her. The news hurt so much worse than she had thought emma finding a girlfriend or sexual partner would.   
  
“You. You had sex with that. Homewrecker?” Lucy asked, trying to reign in her anger. Yet, disbelief and pain were still in her features. “You can’t kiss me without feeling guilty, but you can all out have sex with the woman who ruined your fucking life!? How, how in the hell could you do that? To yourself? To anyone?” The ‘to me’ going unsaid, but not unheard.  
  
  
  
  
“I” Emma pushed her brows together as her face scrunched up in thought. “It was just sex. But it was dark, fueled by an almost evil level of hatred. It was. It wasn't about love, or even pleasure. I mean. It was pleasurable, in ways. But the main goal was about. Domination, not like bedism, it was. It was just. Hate. Luce. I can’t even explain it, but I feel”   
  
  
It was clear that Emma was going to continue, but at this point Lucy didn’t want to hear more. She wanted answers, not excuses. She held up her hand, and Emma’s mouth just stopped moving. All sound halted. Emma would let Lucy direct the conversation, at least, for now. The savior felt bad enough about causing Lucy any sort of pain.  
  
“You feel what!?” Dripped from Lucy’s lips like a poison.”God. I know I have no rights to you, but can you even fathom how much it hurts to know that you’d rather have sex with Ruby, the very woman who came in and destroyed everything you cared about, who screwed your wife while pretending to be your best friend?”   
  
Tears were threatening to fall, and that made Emma sad. She hadn’t meant to ever hurt Lucy, she was her best friend, and she had avoided Lucy’s feelings for too long. She should have put distance between them long ago to save her friend from this very pain, but she had been selfish.   
  
“I’m so sorry Lucy, but. I just couldn’t. Before. Not even with someone I had paid! Ruby. With her. It was like my entire person had changed into this. Dark beast. Every bad thing inside of me just took over. And. I fucked her, I destroyed her, it was more. Sexual brutality than anything else. I won’t lie. We both orgasmed. But it wasn’t anything good. I swear. If I had a choice on who I would be able to actually fuck do you really think I would have chosen her” Emma asked as calmly as she could muster.  
  
“I. Damn. Emma. I won’t lie and say I understand this, or agree that it was the right thing to do. But. I think should talk to your therapist about it. I guess. Do you plan on it happening again? Is it something you have even thought about it?” Lucy asked quietly, she was rather shaken by some of the events that had occurred.   
  
“No, fucking hell no. This. To be honest this likely wouldn’t have happened if I had just talked to my wife in the first place. Instead of drinking myself so stupid I forgot. It’s not my fault, I understand that. But. Regina had a hard life. She shouldn’t have cheated. But maybe. Maybe this is how I can heal.”  
  
All hope that had clung to life within Lucy’s soul about her and Emma being together died in that final moment. Emma had called Regina her wife. Not ex-wife. Not just Regina. Wife. She doubted that Emma had even noticed, but she had. She didn’t hate Emma for it, but it still hurt to know she would always lose to a woman who had hurt Emma so deeply. Nothing she could ever do, or say, could change that.   
  
Lucy had long since discovered that sometimes you don’t deserve love, but get it. Other times you don’t deserve love, but get it. Love was unmistakably the best thing on earth. Whether love of a lover, friend, or child. You could not choose love, it chose you, and you were simply it’s slave. It finally dawned on Lucy that Emma was slave to her love for Regina. That didn’t mean she had to like it, agree to it, or accept it.   
  
“I feel” Emma continued. “I feel like I cheated on her, with Ruby. There is no denying that. But. I also feel. Free. I feel stronger. Like I have this fire in my veins, I can’t continue running. I can see that now. That’s not healthy for my son, or, admittedly, myself. I never really listened to her. Or, me. How screwed up was I that I never listened to me? To her?”  
  
“So you are going back to her” Accused Lucy. She’d rather see Emma with Regina then with Ruby, but she’d choose over a billion people over either of them. Her going back to Regina rather than be with her, that just all out sucked. “You didn’t cheat with Ruby! You can’t cheat on your EX-wife!”  
  
Lucy angry was a rare sight, and generally only when she was sad. Right now she was truly sad, and truly angry. Emma rubbed her face with her hands and groaned. She didn’t have the stamina or the desire to deal with any of this crap right now, she wanted to wallow and maybe sleep the night away. Not deal with emotional bullshit. However, she knew she owed that much to the woman before her.   
  
“No. I am not. At least, not right this moment. I can’t vow one way or the other. I. I still love her. If I think about it, Rhydian wouldn’t even be alive if it hadn’t been for Ruby and Regina doing what they did. Which is something I have never allowed myself to even stop and think about. Let alone appreciate”  
  
“What was he some sort of. Anchor baby. To keep Regina with you? Actually you know what. I don’t understand, and it’s not my place too I think. I don’t think I can handle it right now. I just worry and I don’t like what this town, what these people, do to you” Lucy clenched her knees as she spoke.   
  
Not caring that underneath her blanket she was completely naked Emma sat up and pulled Lucy to her. Hugging her as tightly as she could. Kissing the top of her head before resting her chin on it. Holding her as Lucy cried her pain away into her chest. Emma’s mind racing on what she should do, what she needed to do, and how the fuck she was going to set about doing it.   
  
The answers she came up with. Were not her first choice, and went against everything her body told her to. Running had been her go to, ever since she was a child. It was common trait among adults who had spent time in the foster system, and Emma’s life had been a rather bad case. She’d been lucky to make it out alive. Others she had known had not been so lucky.   
  
“Lucy. Tomorrow morning. You will be leaving alone. And don’t get mad at me, just listen” Emma didn’t continue until the woman stopped struggling against her hold. “That damn shrink keeps telling me to face my problems, emotions, and past. There is a really good shrink in town who understands everything that went down. Knowns the town better than even I. So. I think. No. I don’t think. I know I can’t talk to her alone, even talk to her yet at all. But I’ll go and see Arch and well.”  
  
  
“And what some marriage counseling makes up for every bad thing she did? You go back and play happy family with her? Going to invite your new sex toy into your bed too? To make sure she doesn’t take your wife from you again?” Lucy said angrily as she tore herself out of Emma’s grip. “I’m sorry. I” She had gone from angry to guilty in a second flat as her mind, heart, had caught up with her words.   
  
“It’s alright Lucy” Emma said with a sad smile. “I hurt you because I can't love you in the way I wish I could. I know you didn’t mean what you said. That’s not you. But. Moving on. I don’t know, by Cthulhu, I just don’t. I feel so strong right now. If I don’t do it now, who is to say this strength I feel won’t wear off? In a day, or a week. When you leave. I will have to stand on my own two feet, face whatever it is that stops me from moving on for as long as I can, I have to hold onto this strength”  
  
They stared at each other. Best friends. Women who had lovers who had cheated. Divorced with young children, if this were a book, then many would be rooting for Emma to love Lucy. But it’s not a book. It’s life, and as much as they both wished Emma could. She didn’t. She belonged to Regina as much as Regina belonged to her. Emma was bound to her love for Regina like a slave to it’s master, a slave to love. Lucy still didn’t want to accept it, despite knowing the truth.  
  
“Not moving on has kept me from truly living. I don’t think I’m alive, not really. But. Right now, as fucked up as it is, as it sounds. I can feel it. Feel life. Feel the fire. Feel this strength. I feel like a fucking god, like I could do anything. And I am going to need that to sort everything out. This time. The right way. Not running like a coward.” Emma finished.   
  
“You realize you sound like you are on drugs right? You didn’t get high while having sex with her did you?” Demanded Lucy. Emma shook her head and laughed. “I had to ask, I still think your high on something. Are you sure she didn’t slip something into your drink?”  
  
“I doubt I have ever had a clearer mind then I do right now” Emma admitted. “I promise. No drugs. And tomorrow. I want you to take Rhydian with. For a week or two. I am going to be dealing with a bunch of emotional shit he doesn’t need to see, so his best place is with you”  
  
While Lucy was a common person in the boy’s life it surprised her that Emma would ask her to do this, to freely let her son go. In this situation she wasn’t sure she could let her children go even knowing that it was for the best. The love she held for Emma only grew knowing that, despite her flaws, she always put her son’s well being first. So she nodded, before hugging her friend tightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will update when I am able to do so.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My cousin managed to, finally, revive my laptop. You do not know how much you are going to miss a thing until it dies. So I will do my best to update on time... Or at least closer to on time.
> 
> Thank you to left me nice reviews, whether you like the story or not, I love that you can be kind and courteous regardless if you enjoy my story or not.
> 
> So. I get it okay? If you don't like the story, then don't read it. I spend far much too time writing. Does that make me good at it? Well. I'd hope so. But realistically. I don't get paid. So. Yeah. Anyway, I do my best, I love writing. And not everyone is going to like what I write, but going out of your way to make someone who just wants to see their work out there in the world feel like utter and complete crap? Surely you have something to do besides be cruel. If you want off the train, get off, hopefully the next story I write you'll enjoy more. Sorry this one didn't work out. I can be pretty nice. Until your a dick. Then well. I'll just be a dick back. K? thanks. Glad we could clear that up. And now I feel like a jerk for having to say all that sooooooooo. Here's a chapter.

“Wow. I thought for sure you’d change your mind, at least keep. Him” Henry said. Still struggling with Rhydian’s existence. His mother was at the town line, her head cocked to the side, like a puppy or his little brother, she was just staring down the road. “So, do you have a plan?”   
  
At first Henry had wondered if she had even heard him, if she even registered his presence. Before he could jump to conclusions, which he knew he was apt to do, he took in the slight difference in her posture after he had spoken. Her shoulders were now squared instead of sagging. Her back straighter. Her hands now balled into fists behind her back instead of just holding onto the other.   
  
“I wanted to, there is no point in denying that. He is my son, my cub. As far as a plan. I have none. Right now. I just feel this. Fire. This almost invincible feeling pumping through my veins. I truly feel like I can do anything. That I could run and catch up to them. Take my baby and just escape” Henry was glad she wasn’t looking at him as she spoke.    
  
Normally he hated when she didn’t look at him, but right now. He didn’t want her to see his pain, he knew he would always come second to his younger brother, twice over, but it still hurt. Henry also knew there was nothing in any realm that he could do to change it. Even if he were to track down the Author of his mother’s story he doubted that magic could change the love, and link, she held to her youngest child.    
  
“Yet. You are choosing to stand here.” He stated when the silence began to boil his blood, he wanted her attention. He wanted to be the one on her thoughts, for a just a minutes. Henry wanted to help his mom’s get back together, so that maybe, just maybe, he could win some of the love Emma locked away for Rhydian.   
  
“Yes. As of now. I am. Because I know that running after them, running after my son and absconding with him. That isn’t the right thing for him, or for me. I need to put us first, and for me to do that, I need to stand and fight. The problem I face, is, what exactly am I standing for? What am I fighting?”   
  
Now, of course, Henry wanted to scream and shout that she was fighting for love. He knew that was the absolute wrong thing he could say. Emma was not ready to hear about how True Love cured everything. He knew that was wrong, but that didn’t change the fact he thought that, against all odds, he truly believed his parents belonged together and could move past everything that fate had thrown at them.    
  


“How about we grab some breakfast, then we can come up with the plan. Plus, most importantly, a good name for it. I was thinking Operation Cobra V2” Emma glanced at him, he was completely serious about his name choice.    
  
“So unoriginal and overdone” She remarked with a roll of her eyes before bumping her shoulder into him. Causing him to glare at her, the movement proved just how much shorter than her he really was. The only thing quelling his anger and jealousy was that, right now, she was finally paying attention to him.   
  
Inferiority was something that plagued Henry, and it took all his strength to keep up with his mother as they walked back to the Diner. He had wanted to take his car, but no, she wanted the air. Her walk was basically his run and by the time the diner came into view he was ready to fall to his knees and damn well lick the concrete steps in his appreciation of their destination. His mother however still looked ready to run a marathon - or two.    
  
Not so little Red Riding Hood had the good sense to hide in pure fear in the kitchen when Emma had opened the door. They had locked eyes for a single moment, the blonde had shot her a glare that had caused Ruby to leave with her tail between her legs -nearly literally. It was clear that the wolf truly feared Emma, so much that the savior could swear she smelled it.    
  
“Did someone forget to feed you yesterday or did you miss my food this much?” Granny asked, a concerned smile on her face, as she placed a third bacon cheese burger in front of the bottomless pit known as Emma Swan.    
  
“Just a bit hungrier than normal I think, but damn, am I feeling great.” Emma said with a smirk. “Sorry about scaring your help, but I think you both know it’s best she steer clear, and you got the second best food in town”   
  
Something about Emma’s scent was off, Granny just couldn’t put her finger on it. She feared that Emma might be high on wolves blood, or worse, well on her way to becoming a wolf. As an Alpha Granny could usually tell from a single whiff. No matter how much she smelled Emma, she just couldn’t tell. That alone was enough to make her scared.

 

“Yes, I do agree. Ruby needs to learn to stay away from you, and what’s yours” The sinister half smile accompanied by the look she received from her comment made Granny of all people want to scurry away. She fought back the urge. “I am glad you are feeling better, and sad to see your boy off this morning”   
  
“Indeed, I couldn’t agree more. Though, it does seem she’s learned her place. I believe I taught her a lesson she’ll never forget” Emma chuckled darkly. “As for my boy, he’s in proficient hands for the time being. I felt it best he not be here right now.”   
  
Having no more reason to stay by her customer, nor having anything else to say Granny allowed Henry to begin babbling once about Operation names and Emma to half listen as she devoured another burger. All they had done since they had arrived an hour before.    
  
“Kid, I appreciate all the help you are trying to do. But I don’t know what I need to do, and I am sure it’s nothing a child should hear or know about their parent. I promise if I have something not emotionally scarring for you to help with, I’ll let you know.” Emma had told Henry as she paid the bill.    
  
He had protested at first, vehemently, but in the end when his mother brought up the words ‘adult’ and ‘activities’ he had gone red in the face. Going so much as to raise his hands in surrender before he had sputtered he understood and let her leave unhindered. Even a grown man wants to know absolutely nothing about his parents bedroom activities. 

  
Even feeling as. Invincible, incredible, downright amazing as she felt. Emma had absolutely no fucking idea what she was supposed to do. Sure, it felt like she could do anything. That didn’t mean she really could. Okay, she felt like she could walk on water and walk through fire. Didn’t mean she should go try it out.    
  
So. She decided she’d just walk. As she did she noticed sounds she had never stopped to listen to before, noticed sights she’d never stopped to truly see, smells she’d never smelled. At one point she had even caught a falling leaf and it had felt. Different in her hands. Nothing bad, just new, and Emma, being Emma, chalked it all up the power pulsing through her.   
  
A power she felt was nothing but the determination and desire to, once and for all, work through whatever bullshit was holding her back from having a life. Whether in this town, or out in the world. With someone she already knew, or someone she hadn’t meant. Emma knew she didn’t want to be alone forever, but she also didn’t know if she could ever trust Regina again.    
  
When those thoughts landed Emma looked up from the grass she had been enchanted by to see that she was in front of none other the Archie’s building. So she had cocked her head to the side before bursting into a fit of uncontrollable laughter. When Emma had started walking she had trusted her feet, and sure enough, they had brought her where she needed to be.    
  
Archie had been startled, as she had simply knocked on both doors at once. His apartment magically, and his office with her knuckles. It wasn’t Emma’s fault he used one apartment as an office, and the other as his office. It just made it that much easier for her to find him when she wanted him.    
  
Being someone’s conscious was never an easy thing. Especially when it was someone you had believed would never come seeking your assistance. So Archie had just spend the first ten minutes staring at Emma, dumbfounded that she had come to him of all people. He had always seen her as a punch first ask questions never kind of person.    
  
He listened. Patiently, and without judgement as Emma told him everything he already knew about what had happened. Listened carefully as he gained new information about her life away from storybrooke, and listened with a face so red you would think he was bob the fucking tomato as she spoke of the sex - if you could call it that - she had with Ruby.    
Then, surprising even Archie, she had gone on to explain that, if she had just confronted Regina the first time she had known about the affair instead of acting like a child. Had simply told her of Rhydian at that point. That no one would have ever thought of a way to defy all magic and bring her son back to life. That, at most, they would have moved on from her cheating and had another child at some point down the line.    
  
Explained that what had happened. As horrible, nasty, and life altering. Ultimately. All of that pain, anguish, and suffering had led to the rebirth of her son. Admitted. She would have gone through all of that twice as long. As long as it meant she had her baby back. Admitted even now she would go back in time and live through it a billion times as long as in the end Rhydian woke her up.   
  
All of that left Archie staring at her, his mouth hanging open, his mind reeling as it processed the information given. Trying to find a single flaw in her thought process, but, no matter what he came up with. It wasn’t plausible. Emma Swan was one hundred percent correct in her conclusion.    
  
“Yes. You are right. If you had done as you say and confronted your wife the first time around, you wouldn’t have had Rhydian back. It’s very. Good that you don’t dwell to long on could of, or what if’s as we can not change the past.” He said as he leaned forward. Hands clasped together.    
  
“Yeah Arch I got that” Sighed Emma as she leaned back. “Even still. I am still so fucking angry, in so much pain. So what is it that I do? I know I am supposed to be using this energy drink on crack feeling that I got going on to stand and fight, but what am I supposed to be doing?”   
  
Silence enveloped the room as Archie thought long and hard on what to say next. He knew what needed to happen, and he knew who else needed to be in the room with Emma right now. The man turned cricket turned man just didn’t know how to say it without Emma strangling him, so, rather than be quiet for all eternity he finally just said it.    
  
“Sheriff, sorry, Emma. I think if you are ready, and she is ready. Then you and Regina should come and see me at the same time. Talk to me at the same time.” He spoke gently, gauging Emma’s reaction as he did so. Hoping for the best, but fearing the worst. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally I was going to have Emma do THIS ONE THING. Uh. But. You know. I changed my mind. So now. Therapy. With Archie. Go Emma? Lmao. Let me know your thoughts, bad or good, but if their bad be nice and tell me why their bad. K. Thnx.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit shorter then I wanted but it's done, and on time. The next one may not be out for two weeks, I am having a little argument with my muse on how the next chapter should go so. The muse not speaking to me. Alright I won't keep you from it any longer, please enjoy.

Archie’s suggestion was met with a swift glare, that morphed into a murderous intent. However, Emma soon made it past her thoughts of killing the cricket and half of the town and let out a sigh that could only ever be called a suffering sigh as she leaned back and stared at the ceiling.    
  
Now, Emma had not been able to make the call. Hadn’t known what to say, if anything at all. So she’d thrust her phone into Archie’s hands who had stared at it flabbergasted before putting his big boy glasses on and telling the woman on the line that the blonde would like to speak to her with him present.    
  
Before he had even managed to finish asking about scheduling a time for them to both be there none other than Regina Mills was standing before him. The purple smoke clearing out as if it had never been there. She stood, hair slightly messy. Eye mask in her left hand, and silk pajamas still on.   
  
“Well would ya look at that? A disheveled Mayor. A rare sight indeed, especially at such an hour” Emma had immediately joked - Archie couldn’t tell if it was good natured or not. He really didn’t care, he knew it was not good to poke the bear.   
  
“Dear, I don’t know if you can relate, but there were three children, and Henry who have been fighting dragons all night over at our house. Which, naturally, kept me awake. I had assumed, since I had no obligations today, that I could manage to get a few hours rest. With that said, I just assumed this was a little more important. Considering you are actually going to act like an adult and speak to me” Snarked back the still sleepy woman.    
  
Archie got between the two quickly. He knew he had only a mere moment to start blabbering about something or they were going to go at each other's throats. True loves or not the women could be very volatile and he didn’t really want that going down anywhere near him. He wanted to help them, not lead them on a murder spree.    
  
“Ladies, ladies. Let’s take a moment to breath. We really shouldn’t antagonize anyone. This, just both of you willing to speak with me - and each other - is an amazing step forward.” Archie slid up his ever falling glasses as he spoke. Hoping he could get through to them.   
  
Having them both here was a first step, and an important one. However Archie knew that they needed to both talk rather than argue. He needed to help them talk, help them heal whether individually or together, and then he needed to make sure they were ready for whatever steps they wanted to take after that and release them from his care. He just hoped to manage to do all that quickly - and without being barbequed.   
  
“Sorry Arch” Emma had sighed out as she plopped down at the far right side of the couch. Looking away from her ex-wife. As much as Archie hated to admit it she did look like an overgrown child as she picked at the armrest.    
  
“My apologies Cricket” Regina said as she sat on the far left side of the couch. Even though there was only a single cushion between them it might as well have been an ocean. “So, where should we start?”   
  
Fifteen minutes in and Archie was ready to start pulling his hair out. Every talking point he had started had been met with grunts and minimalist hand gestures from Emma, or two worded responses from Regina. It was as if they didn’t want help to begin with, even though he knew that wasn’t true.    
  
“I fucked Ruby. And I don’t know how to describe it other than. Disgusting, demoralizing even. It made me feel like a king, I am still running off all the power I got from that. I fucked her, and in some ways I regret it, but, in others I don’t.” Emma blurted out and Archie wondered if having them both here would quite literally be the end of him.    
  
“I know. I, well, I watched.” Regina’s words felt like gunshots to Archie. This wasn’t just some chasm between the two women. No. This was a war, that he needed to end. War between loved ones was always worse than any other.    
  
“Seriously? Are you fucking serious right now? How could you violate my privacy like that? How could you even fucking watch that shit?” Emma shouted as she jumped to her feet, feeling betrayed all over again. “What is wrong with you!?” Archie pinched the bridge of his nose.    
  
It took Archie several minutes but he finally talked Emma out of just leaving and ending everything right there. As he knew if she did, she’d likely never try such a thing ever again. He got her back into her seat, even if she was refusing to look at Regina. Archie had gotten her to agree that she needed to hear the Mayor out.    
  
“Yes. I seriously had been watching you, but. I didn’t watch all of it. Just. Checked in here or there. To make sure you hadn’t killed each other, I hadn’t even wanted to. I felt like I had to. I couldn’t survive if she killed you, and I know you wouldn’t survive if you’d killed her. Especially in that sort of situation” Admitted the brunette.    
  
“Incidents such as the one that Emma and Ruby shared are, well, frankly uncommon. Not completely unheard of, humans make all sorts of mistakes and bad choices. Truthfully speaking, that level of action tends to be immensely rare, especially considering consent wasn’t an issue” He could tell Emma was ready to snap at him. “In many incidents similar consent was not given, in your case it was” the blonde calmed down immediately.    
  
This was not the topic he would have chosen for them to talk about, to be truthful it likely wouldn’t have even made the list until they were less likely to cut out each other's throats while roasting him like a pig over an open fire. However, if it was the one they wanted to talk about and they were not killing each other he would try and help them work through this issues.    
  
“As much as I hate to say this. I know that I have no right to feel like you cheated on me, especially considering who you were with. That doesn’t change the fact that I do, and I hate that I made you feel this way.” Regina said softly. “I just. Don’t get why yet.”   
  
“Talking about your feelings is very important, and a great step. You both seem to want to understand this incident more, so, Emma could you explain the emotions and thoughts that were going through you at the time to us? If you are comfortable of course” She nodded her consent.    
  
No one spoke as they waited for her. Emma was never the most articulate of people, that had only ever be exasperated by having to explain something. Not to add insult to injury but the topic at hand wasn’t one she wanted to be so open about but she understood it needed to be said. For herself, and Regina.   
  
“It was. I. Fuck. I didn’t even recognize it as sex, not really. It was dirty. And I can only think I did it because I was so sexually frustrated from not having any sort of. Relief. Of that nature in so long. Combined with wanting to know what she had to offer that I didn’t. But beyond that, I was just so fucking angry. So. So filled with loathing and hatred. Hate. I didn’t even know their could be a hatful aspect to consensual sex. Not until Ruby. I-”   
  
“Yet you enjoyed it!” Accused Regina, anger and pain dripping from her in waves. Anger at herself, and Emma. Pain swirling around her gut. “You enjoyed it” She repeated. Archie held back a groan. 

  
“If you mean did I orgasm? Yes. Yes I did. It didn’t even feel normal. Everything that happened was about power and strength. I felt like. Like I fucking owned her in that moment. That I had taken from her. Like I had destroyed her. Like I had placed some sort of invisible mark upon her. That anyone who touched her again would know I had marked her as filthy and disgusting. I still don’t even comprehend half of what I felt, let alone why I truly did it. But I won’t lie about it to make you or anyone feel better.” Was shouted back.    
  
The screaming began then. Both screaming at each other loud and fast, so much so that Archie couldn’t even get up. Just watch in a stunned horror as they both got to their feet, still screaming. Watch as Regina shoved Emma. Even if Emma didn’t move back more than half an inch it was what snapped Archie his stupor.    
  
“Ladies! Quiet!” They stopped to look at him. “Sit down, please” They sat. “Working through these issues can be hard, as can honesty. Even in times of great pain. Like now. Honesty can lead to trust as long as both parties are forgiving”   
  
“There is absolutely nothing her to forgive! She cheated on me for years, we’ve been divorced! We are not together at all anymore” Argued Emma. “That means I could fuck whomever I want whenever I want as long as it’s legal!”   
  
Regina opened her mouth to battle Emma’s statement, but Archie raised his hand. Holding up one finger, silently asking for a moment to think over his response. He was trying to find some sort of way. He nearly fistpumped when the right thing to say came to him. As he had been searching for something that wouldn’t start another argument.    
  
“While that is true, can you not see that it is also true that it could hurt her? Follow where I am going for a moment. Tell me this. Does the thought of Regina with someone who is not you not also cause you pain? Even now when you are divorced?” He asked.    
  
While a war did not break out Archie still wanted the floor to open up and swallow him as Emma ground her teeth together as she glared at him with such intensity he thought he might be engulfed in flames at any moment. He was sure if nothing else they would cause him a heart attack.    
  


“I love you Emma Swan. I truly do, so much. I am so, so very sorry about all the pain I caused you. All I want is to do is earn your trust and love back. To move forward, because I always loved you.” Regina said. She looked at Emma as she spoke. Emma looked at Archie.    
  
Regina’s heart broke as she looked at the woman she couldn’t help but love, even now. She loved her, nothing could ever change that, could never make her stop. All she could do was hold onto what little hope she still clung to that one day, somehow, someway, Emma could not only forgive her but love her again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always please let me know what you thought, and as stated it might be two fridays before the next chapter is out.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed, please leave any thoughts, good or bad that you had. Will post every friday.   
> (the same time I post it on FF)


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